Your party is sailing or traveling in a submersible (like the Apparatus of Kwalish) and interesting things besides combat happen!

1. A storm blows in and something strange is washed aboard the ship. You decide! (1d4):
   1. Treasure.
   2. A mermaid.
   3. A strange, half drowned bird.
   4. A dead deep sea fish.
2. Your submersible travels through a dense forest of Kelp and the propeller gets tangled and the party has to figure out how to dislodge without getting the bends/while under the immense atmospheric pressure under the sea.
3. The sounds of unearthly singing reach your ears from across the water. You find the remains of ships and sirens (mermaid like tricksters), but the sirens appear to have left.
4. A whirlpool full of teeth opens up just ahead of your ship and you have to sail to avoid it (think Scylla and Charybdis).
5. The seagulls are joined by other types of birds in the sky - perhaps something has gone awry on the land (perhaps a major forest fire).
6. Bio-luminescent jelly fish bloom at night, lighting up the water around you, creating a romantic and breathtaking atmosphere.
7. You find a dingy afloat all alone on the sea with a child/NPC with a story hook aboard.
8. The stowaway is revealed after someone finally took inventory of the stowed supplies below deck when the chocolate was disappearing in larger quantities than expected.
9. Seasoned sailors get seasick as you realize maybe something is wrong with the food.
10. You see a gargantuan entity on the horizon and the sailors start to tell tales. You decide! (1d4)
    1. Uk'otoa.
    2. Dragon Turtles.
    3. Giant Hermit Crabs.
    4. Sea Serpents.
11. You hit the doldrums. There is no wind and no current. The ship you are on has to wait until the wind starts again. Escape?
    
    1. The wind only starts on a natural 20 roll on a d20.
    2. Every day that passes uses up rations and fresh water.
    3. Once the food runs out, and the PCs begin to starve (failed CON roll with increaseing daily DC starting at 10) they may well begin to go insane.
    4. Cannibalism will resolve any hunger issues.
12. You find a message in a bottle floating near the ship. It's from a father to his children, writing to tell them how much he misses them while he's on the high seas. Optional bonus quest to find the children and deliver the letter.
    
13. One of the crew members caught a magical talking fish. The fish claims that if you set him free, he'll grant you a wish.
    
14. A dolphin has been following the ship for three days. A. If treated kindly, the dolphin shows the way to a hidden lagoon with treasure. B. Treated badly, the dolphin and its friends make a large hole in the bottom of the ship.
    
15. Things are going missing from the deck of the ship. If investigated, it's a bird. The bird has built a nest and is clearly trying to impress a potential mate with its newfound collection.
    
16. A strange formation of rocks appears a ways off the shoreline of an island. Closer inspection reveals that these are not rocks, but bones from an ancient dragon. Perhaps the hoard is somewhere nearby?
    
17. A sea witch happens upon the ship. She gives the party the "gift of communication" and casts a friendly spell before going on her way. The enchantment is aimed at the ship. For the next 14 days, the ship is sentient and can communicate with the crew. And boy oh boy, does this ship have some opinions!
    
18. A wave washes a large shell onto the deck of the ship. It's a instrument, and the first person to pick it up gains proficiency in playing the shell. The shell can lull any baby in a 10 foot radius into a peaceful slumber.
    
19. Fair wind: you arrive sooner
    
20. Shitty wind: you are forced to sail around your destination to gain favorable wind. Arrive later. Tacking negates this somewhat
    
21. A storm rolls in, but is just rain
    
22. A storm rolls in and creates fog, travel is slowed, but less than bad winds. A measure of a few hours, not days.
    
23. Two ships are fighting
    
24. A ship is fighting a kraken
    
25. A storm rolls in. Its a maelstrom
    
26. A traveling sea merchant rolls by.
    
27. Come across ship wreckage
    
28. Come across a patch of darker water that slows the ship
    
29. Ghost ship arises on the new moon is empty
    
30. Ghost ship arises on the full moon and is crewed by skeletons
    
31. Smaller ship tries to square up
    
32. Bigger ship bullies you until you pay a toll or tax, fights if you refuse
    
33. An island is sighted, but is not there when you arrive
    
34. An island appears on the horizon where you JUST checked (its an island turtle)
    
35. A rock appears where you swear there was nothing beforw (its a Gargantuan hermit crab)
    
36. You see an undersea fight that causes the sea to roll and boil, sometimes popping up above water
    
37. Coral reef! On a failed perception roll, boat takes damage and must be repaired. On a 1 it must be repaired 2x, once to stop it from sinking, and then again at port. A giant serpent surfaces and eyes the boat, eventually moving on
    
38. An empty ship rolls by, slowly. (Mimic ship with oozes below)
    
39. The sounds of unearthly singing reach your ears from across the water. You consider going after them, but decide not to (wis save)
    
40. Your rowboat ropes start to snap! Make a dex save, mending check, strength saving throw to save it.
    
41. A comet streaks across the sky
    
42. Aurora Borealis
    
43. You hear rumbling off in the distance. A volcanic island is erupting!
    
44. Seals follow the boat for a while.
    
45. A giant koi fish (river) or whale shark (sea) lazily circles the boat, then flips down to the depths
    
46. A GIANT WHALE APPEARS!
    
    1. Takes a chunk of the boat
    2. Bumps the boat off course
    3. leaps over the boat and hits the mast on its way
    4. smacks the boat with its tail doing damage
47. The waves grow choppy and the wind picks up. Unless intentionally slowing the boat, you get to your destination faster, but your boat might take damage
    
48. The bard begins to play a sea shanty. You all join in and have a great time
    
49. A massive, huge, giant, monsterous shark fin is seen. It then disappears without a trace
    
50. A Blue Whale (100+ feet long) breaks the water and bumps the boat
    
51. A Megalodon bites the stern of the boat, requiring repairs 2x. Trip is delayed by a few hours.
    
52. The sea grows calm. No magic works. Then, just as suddenly, the wind picks up, magic starts up, everything is normal
    
53. You see something sparkling on the beach of a small uncharted island.
    
54. You see something sparkling on an uncharted island. Its a message in a bottle
    
55. You pass by an uncharted island and see a fire. Its a marooned pirate, someone lost, nothing.
    
56. An albatross takes a rest on your boat for a while, then flies off
    
57. You see circling seagulls off in the distance. When you arrive there, there are some floating barrels with a dead body lashed to it, rum inside, food inside, repair supplies inside, cannonballs inside, treasure inside, an animal inside, barely clinging to life, a castaway bobbing in a barrel. You see a crate in the water. It has cannons, wood, food, ale, plants, silks, spices, sugar, a note atop showing a delivery island that is where you came from, the island you're going to, an island near it, an island you've never heard of, an island that Nobody has ever heard of.
    
58. A giant squid comes near the surface near the boat to warm up in the sun. Curious about your presence, it follows your ship for several hours before disappearing back into the depths.
    
59. A dragon swoops by, catching a ton of fish in its mouth, then flying away
    
60. A dragon attacks the ship, but is shown to be an illusion. You dont know from where it came.
    
61. Baba yaga, but it's an outpost on a rock
    
62. Giant hippocampus swims next to the boat and tries to get the party to throw it treats.
    
63. You fall off the ship! Before you can cry out the ship is already sailing on its way and you are lost overboard. Just as you begin to despair, a friendly merfolk swims up and asks if you need help. If you explain what happened, they kindly offer to return you to the ship.
    
64. As you keep watch, you look over the side. Roll a percentage dice. (1-10, 90-100 its real) you see a small creature tearing out boards to the side of the ship! Then as you look they vanish, and you hear a commotion from the other side of the boat.
    
65. A group of sea elves herding whales ask for help locating a missing calf
    
66. While sailing at night, the ship passes through a patch of bioluminescent algae
    
67. The ship gets lost in a magnetic field anomaly which causes their compass to spin wildly. A DC 17 survival check will get them out but off course. A 20 or higher will get them out while maintaining the proper course
    
68. A merchant vessel: a vessel that is a small market place, stocking rope, lantern oil, medical supplies, preserved foods, and other ship-borne essentials, maybe weapon maintenance, potions of healing and water breathing, that kind of thing. put some guards on it: a blackguard, a champion, and a warlord.
    
69. You encounter a Kelp Forest, a portion of the sea where the Kelp stalks stretch high above the waves, at least 40 to 50 feet. Who knows what kind of beasts might linger in the fog, nesting amongst the broad leaves and seed pods.
    
70. A pod of whales swims along side the submersible, a sudden wave lunges the sub to one side as a Roc dives into the water and grabs a whale. The roc's flapping and thw whales panic make for extremly difficult seas and the crew of the sub will needs to sucseed in a skill challenge to prevent catostophic failure of the machine.
    
71. An Iceberg that has been carved to be an Ice lich fortress on its underside sawrms with undead such as Merpires and Great Wight Sharks. The Party will have to find ways to make their vessal steathy or face a dire situation. (If in warmer climes, the Iceberg can be replaced with a floating coral fortress and the Ice Lich with a Merpire (Merfolk Vampire) Lord.)
    
72. The Party see a lake of dark liquid on the bottom of th sea bed. The substance is "Brine" super salty water that is low in oxygen, only the most hard bacteria can survive in it. it is used by many subnautical peoples as a holy sight to entomb their dead. . . Often with gold and pearls. When the Party are down in the lake, somethng knocks on the hatch.
    
73. The party comes across an abandoned ship, it’s in perfect condition and the party can’t tell why it’s been abandoned
    
74. You come across a huge abyssal plane of downed airships on the ocean floor after a dogfight. The ghosts all come to you to help them get home.
    
    1. home (denial)
    2. travel
    3. ascend
    4. seize (haunt/poltergeist)
75. A methane vent on the ocean floor causes anything in the area to sink at 10’ per round.
    
76. The lookout can see multiple sources of light below the water. If the party investigates they find a small village of sea people living in bubbles 100 meters below the surface. The bubbles contain oxygen and are possible to move through but also stand on.
    
77. You meet another ship, a merchant ship. However, you are informed that this particular ship used to be quite known for his crew and their deals … Until they sank 2 years ago
    
78. The ship is run aground on a sandbank (more plausible in archipelagos/shallow waters), so the players must find a way to dig the ship out or use enough force to push off from the bank (but not too much force to break the ship!)
    
79. You pass ovearound an island recently submerged underwater by rising sea levels (natural or otherwise). The tops of trees and buildings peak over the lapping waves, and if you glance down and squint you can make out the signs of a civilisation eradicated; fish swimming about abandoned hovels, overturned carts floating by, and even the occasional ghost wandering down dead roads.
    
80. Far in the distance, you can make out a naval battle raging. The distant thunder of cannons and a faint smell of brimstone linger in the air. Eventually one ship keels over, sinking beneath the waves.
    
81. A half-sunken ship containing a hag. She'll promise them anything they want in exchange for safe passage back. Obviously a monkeys paw scenario, helps a lot with the overtly good paladins etc
    
82. Found a floating city made from various buoyant materials.
    
83. Found a Djinn in a bottle.
    
84. Meet a trading Merfolk, selling anything they found on the seabed.
    
85. A dormant ship floating on the sea during the day. When checked, all the ship's crew are vampires, sleeping.
    
86. Your ship sails into a big area of thick, sticky gloop, stopping the ship's motion, trapping any oars submerged into the gloppy mass, and clogging up any rudders. How are you going to get out of this one? gargantuan sea-gelatinous cube!?
    
87. A Triton appears before your submersible anf flashes a big message, word by word, using Minor Illusion: "STOP!" "MIGRATING" "KRAKEN!" "TURN" "BACK" "NOW!"
    
88. A long riverboat is seen at the mouth of a river pouring into the sea. A closer investigation reveals it is a casino boat!
    
89. A ship rolls up on you, but it's someone going where you are and they challenge you to a race to get there. No magic can be used, some magic, all bets are off. They wager gold, a piece of information, a magic item. They are true to their word, they sail away, they attempt to destroy the ship, they vanish as you approach the island (they're ghosts) and you find the reward in the captains quarters.
    
90. You come across a large bed of giant clams/shellfish. They make for good eating and have several big pearls in them.
    
91. One foggy night you hear ghostly pirate shanties being sung over the waves. In the fog you can barely make out the black shape of a ghost ship before it disappears.
    
92. You spot a large kraken corpse with massive bite marks on it. Who could possibly do this damage?
    
93. While traveling through a kelp forest you see a raft of giant sea otters. Killing them for their fur will net you a ton of money at a market but is it worth earning the ire of a local sea goddess for doing it?
    
94. In the distance you sea a newly form volcano spewing out fire elementals to battle water elementals rising from the sea to snuff out the volcano.
    
95. A giant Octopus is tending their coral garden. They offer gold in exchange for seaweeds from far off places to put in their garden.
    
96. Has anyone featured an encounter with black smokers yet? Vents from the planets mantel spewing out pressurized boiling gas, causing pillars of what looks like black smoke underwater and a huge diversity of life that is strange and alien. You could combine that with a giant Bobbit worm made of smoke poking out of a portal to the elemental plane of fire. this is a vague idea.
    
97. Maybe come across some merfolk torturing a sapient giant electric eel, they are doing so to capture electricity that powers a magic artifact that keeps a merfolk child alive. free the eel and the child dies. leave it and a living thinking creature is tortured slowly to death.
    
98. While you observe the sea you notice a big shadow appear under the boat. A BIG shadow. A massive sea creature appears.
    
99. While sailing, suddenly it gets more and more foggy till you can barely see anything anymore. Suddenly you see a hazy ship coming out of the water and getting closer to you. The crew doesn't look normal (Black Pearl inspired)
    
100. You travel a long time on a boat with only a few passenger, you eat regularly together in the small tavern style restaurant on the boat and basically know all passengers by face. One day one of them disappears. Next day another one, and another one. The rest passengers get suspicious. The persons are nowhere to be found. The PCs try to investigate. In the end turns out a vampire is on the boat coming out when its cloudy or raining. (Dracula Series on Netflix, Second Episode)
     

Bonus: Combat Encounters 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.
Edit 1: General comment about struggling with sub-lists. This got deleted in the great silliness of 11:30p on 7/11/2020 (see edit 2).
Edit 2: Well. Dang. That will teach me to edit and post only on a web form without a back up copy I had 78 things with complex lists for some of them and accidentally saved over them and lost all of that data. I'll have to redo it. Please don't down vote me in the meantime. I spent like 5 hours on it this afternoon and I'm devastated that I lost it all...
Edit 3: I've made a simple redo of the 5 hours of work and saved it elsewhere. It does not reflect the synthesizing of comments and repeats, the separating of combat from non-combat in people's suggestions, the removing of cuss words, the grammatical edits, or the embellishing that I did. I plan to do that in the next couple of days, but here is something in case you were counting on this list like tomorrow or something. Please note that the numbers may change on entries and if you comment on a specific entry, you may want to quote some of the content too. There are 20 of these that were originally combined, moved into combat, or otherwise not included in version 1.
Edit 4: the list says 100 but there are combat encounters in there. I still want to re-synthesize the list when I have a couple hours. I want to break out combat separate from non-combat, and possibly separate on the ocean vs. underwater.

New Music Friday is a new weekly thread dedicated to chronicling all the Album/EP releases that came out this week. This is also a great place to discuss these albums, or bring to our attention other albums released this week.
Elephant Tree - Habits
Label: Holy Roar Records
Genre: Heavy Psych, Stoner Metal, Slowcore
Elder - Omens
Label: Stickman Records, Armageddon Label
Genre: Heavy Psych, Progressive Rock, Stoner Rock
Other Lives - For Their Love
Label: ATO Records
Genre: Chamber Pop, Indie Rock
Diners - Leisure World
Label: Lauren Records
Genre: Indie Pop, Funk Rock
Cassowary - Cassowary
Label: Fat Possum
Genre: Nu-Jazz, Jazz Rock
Relevant Elephants (by TheRelevantElephants) - Major Plastic Sabotage
Label: self-released
Genre: Indie Rock, Pop Rock
Renouncer (by torinn818) - Living With People
Label: self-released
Genre: Indie Rock, Lo-Fi Indie
City Mouth - Coping Machine
Label: Take This To Heart
Genre: Indie Rock, Pop Rock
Febueder - Tomalin Has Etched In
Label: self-released
Genre: Indie Pop, Art Pop
Frank Turner - Live In Newcastle
Label: Polydor Records
Genre: Singesongwriter, Folk Rock
Beach Comber (Rory Friers of And So I Watch You From Afar) - Parting Cuts
Label: self-released
Genre: Singesongwriter, Indie Folk
White Poppy - Paradise Gardens
Label: Not Not Fun Records
Genre: Dream Pop, Hypnagogic Pop
Naoise Roo - Sick Girlfriend (EP)
Label: Sick Girlfriend Records
Genre: Alternative Rock, Indie Rock
altopalo - farawayfromeveryoneyouknow
Label: Samedi
Genre: Art Pop, Glitch Pop, Ambient Pop
Klein - Frozen
Label: self-released
Genre: Sound Collage, Post-Industrial, Hypnagogic Pop
Nick Leng - LEMONS
Label: SOTA Records
Genre: Indie Pop, Synthpop
EQ Why - Gravitate
Label: self-released
Genre: Footwork, Juke, Glitch
Clams Casino - Instrumental Relics
Label: self-released
Genre: Instrumental Hip Hop, Cloud Rap
Lorenzo Senni - Scacco Matto
Label: Warp
Genre: Progressive Electronic, Trance
Princess Thailand - And We Shine
Label: Tant Rêver du Roi, Luik Records
Genre: Post-Punk, No Wave
Max Bloom (of Yuck) - Perfume
Label: Anniversary
Genre: Indie Pop, Indie Rock
The Feather - ROOM
Label: [PIAS] Recordings Belgium
Genre: Indie Rock, Indie Pop
Rabbit Island - Songs for Kids
Label: bedroom suck records
Genre: Neo-Psychedelic, Indie Folk
NOVA ONE - lovable
Label: Community Records
Genre: Dream Pop, Psychedelic Pop
Hotel Lux - Barstool Preaching (EP)
Label: Nice Swan Records
Genre: Post-Punk, Art Punk
Junk Drawer - Ready For The House
Label: Art For Blind
Genre: Indie Rock, Noise Pop
Wares - Survival
Label: Mint Records
Genre: Indie Rock, Alternative Rock
Whitney Rose - We Still Go to Rodeos
Label: MCG Recordings
Genre: Country, Americana
Alice Bag - Sister Dynamite
Label: In the Red Records
Genre: Punk Rock
Sylvan Esso - WITH (Live)
Label: Loma Vista
Genre: Electropop, Indietronica
Quelle Chris - Innocent Country 2
Label: Mello Music Group
Genre: Jazz Rap, Abstract Hip Hop, Neo-Soul
Altadore - Gardenia
Label: self-released
Genre: Indie Pop, Baroque Pop
LAKE - Roundelay
Label: Off Tempo
Genre: Indie Pop, Twee Pop
Dead Ghosts - Automatic Changer
Label: Burger Records
Genre: Garage Rock, Psychedelic Rock
Zsela - Ache of Victory (EP)
Label: self-released
Genre: Art Pop, Singesongwriter
Kali Uchis - TO FEEL ALIVE (EP)
Label: Virgin EMI Records
Genre: Contemporary R&B, Neo-Soul
AWOLNATION - Angel Miners & The Lightning Riders
Label: Better Noise Music
Genre: Pop Rock, Alternative Rock
Day Wave - Crush (EP)
Label: [PIAS]
Genre: Dream Pop, Jangle Pop
BC Camplight - Shortly After Takeoff
Label: Bella Union
Genre: Psychedelic Pop, Art Rock
Harkin (Katie Harkin of Sky Larkin) - Harkin
Label: Hand Mirror
Genre: Indie Pop, Indie Rock
Marlin's Dreaming - Quotidian
Label: Marlin's Dreaming
Genre: Jangle Pop, Indie Rock, Neo-Psychedelia
Brendan Benson - Dear Life
Label: Third Man Records
Genre: Power Pop, Pop Rock
RVG - Feral
Label: Fire Records
Genre: Indie Rock, Jangle Pop
Tom Misch & Yussef Dayes - What Kinda Music
Label: Beyond The Groove / Blue Note Records
Genre: Neo-Soul, Contemporary R&B
Hazel English - Wake UP!
Label: Polyvinyl Record Co.
Genre: Indie Pop, Dream Pop
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Chunky Shrapnel (Live)
Label: Flightless
Genre: Garage Rock, Krautrock, Space Rock, Thrash Metal
Lucinda Williams - Good Souls Better Angels
Label: Highway 20
Genre: Blues Rock, Alt-Country
Pam Tillis - Looking For a Feeling
Label: Stellar Cat
Genre: Country
Alina Baraz - It Was Divine
Label: Mom + Pop Music
Genre: Alternative R&B, Chillstep, Downtempo
IC3PEAK – До Свидания (Goodbye)
Label: self-released
Genre: Art Pop, Wave, Witch House, Trap Metal, Alternative R&B
Ulcerate - Stare Into Death and Be Still
Label: Debemur Morti Productions
Genre: Technical Death Metal, Atmospheric Sludge Metal
Dance Gavin Dance - Afterburner
Label: Rise Records
Genre: Math Rock, Post-Hardcore
Katatonia - City Burials
Label: Peaceville Records
Genre: Alternative Metal, Gothic Metal, Progressive Rock
Trivium - What The Dead Men Say
Label: Roadrunner Records
Genre: Melodic Metalcore, Alternative Metal, Heavy Metal
The Used - Heartwork
Label: Hassle Records
Genre: Alternative Rock, Pop Rock, Post-Hardcore
Warbringer - Weapons of Tomorrow
Label: Napalm Records
Genre: Thrash Metal, Black Metal
Danzig - Danzig Sings Elvis
Label: Cleopatra Records
Genre: Rockabilly, Blues Rock
Black Curse - Endless Wound
Label: Sepulchral Voice
Genre: Death Metal, Black Metal

I'm always asking strangers what they think about the local music scene and often meeting ones who don't really know what's going on in town, so here's a refresher for you. This is not a complete list by any means, so feel free to add anything that people oughta know about.
Anamon - insta spotify "Purple, Green and Yellow is the sophomore record from Anamon, a 3 piece from upstate New York led by Ana Emily Monaco. The band tread in the direction of country tinged jagged pop with varying tempos and echo-y and vibrato-soaked guitar squalls. Monaco’s vocals carry a dusky twang that suits the approach and adds a richness and depth that lingers in the ear canals of the listener. Anamon express their influences in a cohesive manner that leads to a steady foundation for some charming songwriting." - post-trash.com
Clibbus - insta spotify "Originally conceived as a solo-homemade art and music multimedia project in the backyard of D'Aurelio's bedroom many years ago, the band became a full fledged live buffet of sensory overload when the three began to write together in late 2018... What's the most Reba you've ever Mac-entired? Those who may be bored of thinking or those who think too much ponder this question. Clibbus likes horses and dogs. The dog says the feeling is mutual." - floatedmag.com
Aweful Kanawful - insta spotify "I really like this album and appreciate the sense of weirdness and mystery it offers up. You wonder how the hell something like the mad chamber pop of “Man of Steal” came together, but the liner notes leave as much to the imagination as they explain. Honestly, I like to think that this was all recorded with the band sitting in a sandbox like Brian Wilson doing Pet Sounds. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me." - modern-vinyl.com on "Clam's Casino"
Dangerbyrd - insta spotify "The Rochester-based quartet plays without a shred of phony grandeur or self-imposed elegance. Dangerbyrd is down and dirty and a clever musical synthesis of vintage and classic. Just dig the band's guitar-driven rock 'n' roll and astute lyrics howled over its garage rock rumble. It's old, it's new, and it's the unheard strain of something familiar." - rochestercitynewspaper.com
Boy Jr. - insta spotify "If there’s anything I’ve learned about Boy Jr., it’s to expect the unexpected. Rochester native Erica Lubman has been experimenting with music since childhood, combining her love for garage rock and indie pop with a flair for dramatic fashion. She’s equally likely to turn up on stage in a retro matching tracksuit as a leather skirt and torn T-shirt. As with her wardrobe, she shows off a wide range of songs in her repertoire – from punk to grunge." - nysmusic.com
Gary Lamaar - insta bandcamp "The title of Lamaar’s new album is “Freedom Rap.” The opening track of the same name is bookended by the refrain “fleet footed, loose tongue in the street,” establishing the emotional immediacy and quasi-punk ethos apparent throughout the album. His cadence sounds resolute and sovereign, delivering rhymes with a grit similar to emcees like MF DOOM and Talib Kweli." - rochestercitynewspaper.com
Fuzzrod - insta spotify "This isn’t an album that sticks in one lane, though, and while that fuzziness is a recurring theme, there is more than one influence thrown into the pot with it. ‘Dum’ tosses a bit of early 90s alt-rock in there, bringing a Riot Grrrl vibe before ‘Fuck Work’ bounces its way into teenage rebellion. No-one is going to pinpoint it as a masterpiece of subtle song-writing, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun and deserves to be a punky live favorite for years to come." - ramblingsaboutwrestling.com
Tafai - insta soundcloud "need more.. so fire bruv" - soundcloud.com
Cammy Enaharo - insta spotify "It was barely two minutes into the album “From the Garage,” by singer and songwriter Cammy Enaharo, before her distinctive voice and catchy groove were apparent. A harmonious marriage of songwriting, voice and melody conjure up a soothing euphoria when combined with the smoky rifts from her signature baritone ukulele." - democratandchronicle.com
Madeleine McQueen - insta spotify "Madeleine McQueen, a 23-year-old songwriter from Rochester, NY, has something to say, and you should be listening. With musical influences ranging from Nirvana to Amy Winehouse and Joni Mitchell, McQueen’s voice cuts through her songs with conviction, soul, and grace—a rare cocktail for a young songwriter."
Televisionaries - insta spotify "Perhaps on paper, the term "contemporary instrumental surf rock" does not sound very appealing, but the Televisionaries of Rochester have managed to make a masterpiece of the genre. There's a lot to digest with this record, but it's more than worth it. Highly recommended." - materialworldrecords.com
Overhand Sam - insta spotify "OHS (Overhand Sam, referencing his approach to the neck on the guitar), just put out his latest LP ‘Longer Legs’ and it’s one of the years more ambitious releases. On the surface it seems like a traditional 60’s Psych Rock genre exercise, but he’s offering up a lot more to the listener here. 11 songs tightly arranged and packed with enough ideas to reward repeated spins. Singable hooks, danceable rhythms, experimental zone outs, and oh yea…guitars. Guitars on guitars on guitars." - withguitars.com
Full Body - insta spotify "Once "Always There" hit our inbox, we did our homework. We have to admit that we weren’t too impressed with Full Body’s first tracks... How times have changed! Don’t be scared by the rushed “noise rock” categorization, Full Body delivers here a palatable and digestive experience. Entrée, plat, dessert. With Always There, Full Body succeeded in crafting tasty and relevant compositions for both newbies on the scene and seasoned musicians (and even technicians). The Rochester quartet only left us with one luxurious anxiety: the fear of musical abandonment in the future." - slowculture.eu
Moses Rockwell - insta spotify Rockwell spits rhymes with intelligent flow and charismatic swagger, throwing out poetic references like a well-versed librarian. "The Unfortunate Case of Mortis Rocksalt" is a candid reaction to societal issues through humorous observations of everyday life. You can hear the grin in his voice as Rockwell recites his inner thoughts on "An Old Yarn" and "Beak Down," while his crisp articulation is complemented by atmospheric electronic textures on "Mostly Harmless." - rochestercitynewspaper.com
Harmonica Lewinksi - insta spotify "In a tight 28 minutes, Head Honcho spans the dial from weirdo surf to greasy garage to dirty disco to party punk. Recorded in Rochester NY by analog wizard Alex Patrick on ½ inch reel to reel. This full length tape from Harmonica Lewinski twists and turns its way through 12 cuts of swampy rock n roll, with booty shaker instros mixed in. Turn it over and start again." - imposemagazine.com
Brendan Lake - insta spotify "In this, his first solo offering, Lake has achieved something self-evident. At its very core, beyond musical adornment or recycled melody, here is something of the utmost importance that many have forgotten. Childish Ways is about the first time you woke up and saw the world a bit differently. The first time you let something go and realized it was lost forever. The first time you found something else, both better and worse, but true nonetheless." - Reel Time Records
The Fox Sisters - insta spotify "Have you ever danced so hard your body couldn’t keep up? Heart thumping, sweat beading off of the back of your neck, the onset ache in your glutes setting in? The Fox Sisters will make you dance ‘til you drop." - meltedmagazine.com
Hallucination Realized - insta spotify
The Low Spirits - insta bandcamp
There's just some for ya! It's easy for you to support your local musicians! Follow them online, tell your friends about it, maybe show up to Bug Jar when they're playing and most of all enjoy their music!!

"I would prefer lengthier studies... and few explosions"

Liara T'Soni

OST
Liara T'soni is an asari archaeologist, and one of Commander Shepard's closest allies. Ever since she was young she had a fascination with the protheans, the race that ruled the galaxy 50,000 years ago, and dedicated her life to studying them. While on a dig on a remote planet she was attacked by a machine race known as a geth she found herself trapped in a prothean forcefield trying to protect herself. She was finally rescued by Commander Shepard, from whom she learned her mother Matriarch Benezia has allied herself with the rogue spectre Saren Arterius. But more than that she learned that Shepard had encountered a Prothean beacon and learned the true fate of the protheans; they had been wiped out by a race of sentient starships known as the Reapers. Both for her own protection and to learn more about Shepard's experience with the beacon she joined his squad, and helped to bring down her mother as well as Saren who were attempting to bring the Reapers back.
After Shepard's death at the hands of the Collectors Liara fought against the Shadow Broker (the galaxy's most powerful information broker) to recover Shepard's body, and then spent the next two years trying to track him down to rescue a friend who was captured in the process. With the help of a newly revived Shepard she managed to find and kill the Broker, and then took control of his network to become the new Shadow Broker. With her new resources she discovered plans for an ancient device to possibly destroy the Reapers, and as the Reapers returned rejoined Shepard's crew in order to try and stop them once and for all.
Notes: A number of feats can be performed by any squadmate regardless of who they are. These feats will be marked with [Squadmate] and the gif is not guaranteed to have Liara in them. Similarly, gifs of Liara's in game abilities are performed by Shepard (since the abilities are functionally identical in game regardless of who's using them)
Index
Hover over a feat to see the source
Games

• Mass Effect 1
  
• Mass Effect 2
  
• Mass Effect 3
  
• Mass Effect Andromeda (though Liara just has a short vocal cameo)
  

Comics

• Mass Effect Redemption
  
• Mass Effect Homeworlds
  

Animation

• Paragon Lost (though Liara herself doesn't get any feats from this)

Beyond this there are some novels that Liara does not appear in but still provide information about the setting
Novels

• Mass Effect Revelations
  
• Mass Effect Ascension
  
• Mass Effect Retribution
  
• Mass Effect Andromeda: Nexus Uprising
  
• Mass Effect Andromeda: Initiation
  
• Mass Effect Andromeda: Annihilation
  

Information on In-Universe Technology
Firearms: Mass Effect firearms work by using mass effect fields and electromagnetism to accelerate metal slugs to sufficient velocities and are designed to squash or shatter on impact. A single weapon can hold thousands of rounds, smaller than grains of sand. In general Mass Effect weaponry tear up stone and concrete, destroy a satelite uplink in a single shot, and at enough damage blow apart enemy heads

• As of Mass Effect 2 weapons make use of a disposable heat sink (known as a thermal clip) which can be replaced in seconds. Spent clips are hot enough to ignite flamable liquid on contact

Body Armor: Body armor is made of fabric hardsuits with kinetic padding, with less flexible areas potentially reinforced with ceramic. These suits can be be sealed to protect against hostile enviornments. Resistance to gun fire depends on the amount of reinforcement over a given body part.
Kinetic Barriers: Kinetic barriers create mass effect fields that repel projectiles moving at sufficiently high velocity. Barriers can easily block single shots from pistols and submachine guns, and in the novels these can block at least limited shots from assault rifles and sniper rifles

Biotic Abilities

Biotics are the ability to create mass effect fields and manipulate dark energy to produce effects like telekinesis. However using biotic abilities requires time and concentration, and can be very draining. All asari are biotics, and Liara is no exception.
General Telekinesis/Gravity Manipulation

• Feats
  
  • Slams a table into Tela Vasir, sending her flying.
  • Pulls half of a gun through the head of a phantom (elite Cerberus agent)
  • Throws a turian into two other mercs
  • Sends a merc that grabs her from behind flying
  • Smacks Feron to the ground, with him stating she could have killed him
  • Slows her own fall
  • Takes out rachni soldiers
  • Disables a shield generator
  • Pushes Ferron out of the way of gunfire
  • Fires a blast that sends several people flying
  • Kills two mercenaries with a pulse
  • Takes out two mercs firing at her without slowing down
  • Bust apart a machine communicator, and then releases a pulse that sends metal furniture around a room flying
• Gameplay
  
  • Throw: Projects a mass effect field powerful enough to hurl objects and enemies which at max upgrade hits with a force of 1250 Newtons
  • Lift: Projects a sphere of contro-gravity which causes any enemy or object to be lifted into the air and immobilized, which at max upgrade his a lift radius around the target of 6 meters and lasts for 40 seconds
    • In gameplay, at max upgrade, this can lift a geth Colossus

Warp: Uses mass effect fields to warp and wreak havoc on the foe

• Feats/Scaling
  
  • Shatters the ceiling of the Shadow Broker's lair, and seems to control the lightning above to hit him with enough electricity to completely vaporize him.
  • In the novels warp creates several microscopic mass effect fields that warp space-time and tear into Anderson's flesh. In one book it's described as thousands of rapidly shifting mass effect fields that quickly tear apart a large cyborg
• Gameplay
  
  • In 1 is described as wreaking havoc on a foe at a subatomic level
  • In 2 it rips foes apart at the molecular level and stops regeneration and can also detonate biotic effects already on the target with a force of 700 Newtons. It can also be upgraded to either do much more damage or increase the blast radius when warp detonates other biotic effects
  • In 3 it again is described as ripping the foe apart at the molecular level and stopping their regeneration and can be upgraded in various ways

Stasis: Creates a mass effect field to immobilize the target

• Scaling
  
  • In the novels stasis creates a field that contains powerful opposing gravitational and magnetic forces to keep the target immobilized
• Gameplay
  
  • In 1 renders the target unable to attack or move for 12.5 seconds, but also immune to damage
  • In 2 this creates a mass effect field that immobilizes a target and renders them immune to damage. This bypasses all resistances (though targets become more resistant as they're exposed to it more) and can last for 9 seconds. It can also be upgraded to either to immobilize the target for 12 seconds or increase the penetration so targets build up a resistance more slowly
  • In 3 this instead stops an enemy in its tracks with a mass effect field while still being susceptible to damage, though they will break free after taking enough damage and can be upgraded in various ways

Singlularity: Projects a sphere of dark energy which produces a powerful gravitational effect that pulls nearby enemies and objects towards it,

• Feats/Scaling
  
  • Creates a mass of dark energy that causes multiple Cerberus soldiers to be caught in its gravity.
  • In novels singularity is a point of near infinite mass with enough gravity to warp the space time continuum. However in other instances it's described as much less deadly
• Gameplay
  
  • In 1 at max upgrade can have a radius of 8.5 meters and a duration of 40 seconds
  • In 2 it can be upgraded to either hold up to 6 targets at once or have an impact radius of 3 meters
  • In 3 it can be upgraded in various ways

Barriers

• Barrier: Bolsters her kinetic shielding with biotic barriers
  
• In the novels barrier creates a powerful gravitational field that completely stops the momentum of several bullets
  
• Blocks gunfire from two mercenaries
  
• Extends her barrier to protect Shepard and his squadmates from several rapid fired shards of glass
  
• Creates a barrier around an entire submersible (though she states she can't maintain it for long)
  

Weapons and Equipment

Guns: Liara is trained in pistols and submachine guns, and in gameplay will wield one of each.

• Heavy Pistols
  
  • Shepard's pistol could shoot through a pipe containing flammable gas and then ignite it with a second shot as well as shoot through a window bordering a vacuum
  • In the novels pistol rounds can at point blank range blast through a krogan's head and go right through a quarian's head and lodges itself in a shuttle's bulkhead
  • The M-3 Predator can blow apart the head of a LOKI Mech
  • The M-5 Phalanx has no loss in stopping power compared to a soldier's assault rife
  • The M-6 Carnifex in Paragon Lost could cause a ceiling to collapse with multiple shots
  • The M-11 Surpressor is a specialized silenced pistol
    • A silenced pistol is barely audible to a person at close range
  • The M-77 Paladin has unquestionably superior firepower to the Carnifex, though with smaller clips
  • The Acolyte fires ammunition similar in effect to a warp bomb, devastating shields and barriers
  • The Arc Pistol uses a laser to ionize the air and create an electric shock that can be charged up
  • The Scorpion fires projectiles that stick onto foes and then explode and can very quickly bring down Cerberus troops
• Submachine Guns
  
  • Can blow apart a large statue with a single shot
  • The M-4 Shuriken can pretty quickly bring down an armored Krogan.
    • In Paragon Lost it could tear up a Krogan's armor and blow apart the head of a collector with a single shot
  • The M-12 Locust can pierce through kinetic barriers at a distance of 25 meters
  • The M-25 Hornet can go right through a soldier's helmet with one shot
  • The Blood Pack Punisher automatically fires armor piercing rounds out of a second barrel
  • The Geth Plasma SMG fires torroids that flash convert shrapnel into plasma
• Marksmanship
  
  • Disables a Turian's armor with two precise shots
  • Shoots two Cerberus soldiers caught in her singularity out of the air
  • Guns down a fleeing Brooks
  • [Squadmate] Shoots a citadel chandelier from a decent distance away to give Shepard an opening
  • [Squadmate] Disables the arm of an Atlas mech with shots
  • [Squadmate] Shoots an artifact from a decent distance away
• Weapon Modification
  
  • Warp Ammo: Provides a warp effect to her ammo that causes additional damage to biotically lifted opponents, as well as the armor of foes and can be upgraded in various ways
  • In Mass Effect 1 ammo upgrades were items that could be applied individually to weapons. Specific types include anti-personnel, armor piercing, anti-kinetic barrier, cryogenic, incendiary, explosive, and radioactive.
    • Visuals of some ammo types
  • In 1 Weapon upgrades are the same regardless of weapon type, and have effects such as improving detection capabilities, sighting, and firepower, or decreasing heat generation or recoil
  • In Mass Effect 3 weapon upgrades are items that can be applied to each induvidual weapon. They vary between weapon types, but tend to increase accuracy, damage, penetration, melee damage, etc...
    • Heavy Pistol Upgrades
    • Submachine Gun Upgrades

Body Armor

• In Mass Effect 1 Shepard and squadmates are capable of operating in hazardous enviornments for a limitted period of time before taking damage.
  
  • Heat: Solcrum has a surface temperature of 351 degrees Celsius (albeit no atmosphere) while Metgos has a surface temperature of 169 degrees Celsius and conditions resembling early Venus
  • Cold: Xawin has a surface temperature of -131 degrees Celsius
  • Pressure: Sharjilla has an atmospheric pressure of 39.16 Earth Atmospheres
  • Toxins: Eletania posesses an ecosystem that induces anaphylactic shock in non-native organics that inhale it.
• [Squadmate] Allows her to walk along the outside of the citadel in a presumably zero-g and vacuum environment
  
• Fights along the exterior of the Shadow Broker's ship, and foes detached from the ship immediately go flying
  
• In gameplay in Mass Effect 1 she possesses kinetic barriers (AKA shields).
  

Omni-tool:

• Combat Abilities
  
  • First Aid: Increases the healing of squad members using medi-gel
  • Overload: Does damage to a foe and their shields which at max upgrade has a 10 meter radius of effect
• Tech Manipulation
  
  • Deactivates a communicator
  • Uses a bypassing shunt to open the door to the Shadow Broker's base after a period of time
  • [Squadmate] Hacks open a door
  • [Squadmate] Disables a door lock
  • [Squadmate] Repairs a broken bridge
  • [Squadmate] Disables defense towers
• Misc
  
  • Sifts through large amounts of prothean data
  • Capable of long range communication
  • Plays recorded data and transfers it to the Normandy
  • Downloads the layout of the Shadow Broker's base
  • Analyzes the state of a female krogan
  • [Squadmate] Analyzes a dead quarian
  • [Squadmate] Analyzes Reaper tech
  • [Squadmate] Analyzes Shepard's status

Physicals

Note (in the Redemption comic at least) Liara seems to enhance her physicals with her biotic powers.
Strength

• Punches out a Krogan, and then draws blood from two more Blue Suns mercs with kicks
  
• Draws blood from a Turian with punches and kicks
  
• Kicks away a grate with repeated strikes
  
• Catches and pulls up Shepard
  
• [Squadmate] Pushes open elevator doors
  
• Beats up a Batarian and a Volus
  
• [Squadmate] Punches out a geth platform
  
• Rips a monitor off a computer terminal
  

Speed

• Dodges close range assault rifle fire
  
• Aim dodges turret fire
  
• Crawls through the ducts while avoiding gun fire from Cerberus soldiers
  
• [Squadmate] Leaps out of the way of Saren's thrown grenade
  
• [Squadmate] Escapes a collapsing mine
  
• [Squadmate] Makes it out of a dreadnought cannon before it can fire
  
• [Squadmate] Avoids a cave-in
  
• [Squadmate] Makes a decent leap onto a shuttle
  
• [Squadmate] Leaps from a moving shuttle onto a platform
  

Durability

• The Shadow Broker hits Shepard into her (Shadow Broker RT for reference)
  
• Knocked back by close ranged explosives
  
• [Squadmate] Blown back by a crashing turian fighter and gets right back up
  
• [Squadmate] Blown back by a bomb's explosion that kills or at least injures a nearby salarian and gets right back up
  
• [Squadmate] Knocked back by the explosion produced by Saren's transformation
  
• [Squadmate] Okay after part of the wreckage of Soveriegn crashes into the Citadel Council Chambers
  
• [Squadmate] Takes a several story fall
  
• [Squadmate] Takes a decent drop and keeps running
  
• [Squadmate] Goes tumbling into a sinkhole
  
• [Squadmate] Walks off a skycar crash
  
• [Squadmate] Falls after a reaper collapses the bridge they're on
  
• [Squadmate] Blown back by a close range explosion
  
• [Squadmate] Caught up an explosion
  
• Caught up in a crashing shuttle
  
• Thrown into another squadmate by Kai Leng and then has the temple around her blasted by missiles and is fine
  
• [Squadmate] Caught up in the explosion of a Mako, though they are left pretty badly injured
  

Misc

Asari Physiology

• Asari can live for over 1000 years
  
• Asari are capable of attuning their nervous systems with those of their partners, sharing impulses through the skin no matter the species of the partner. Liara also states Asari are capable of looking into the very genetic memory of the partner
  
  • Joins with Shepard's mind, seeing and interpreting their visions from the Prothean Beacon, and with more information identifies the planet shown within (though both instances exhaust her)
  • Shows Shepard some of her memories

Combat Skill

• Quickly guns down several mercs while dual wielding pistols
  
• Escapes from an assassination attempt from a spectre unharmed
  
• [Squadmate] Guns down several cannibals
  
• [Squadmate] Guns down multiple husks and then guns down more
  
• Engages in some serious overkill
  
• [Squadmate] Has several laser dots pointed at her chest and comes out of it more or less unharmed
  
• [Squadmate] After being sent to aid a squad of soldiers against reaper troops manages to keep them alive
  

Knowledge/Resources

• Quickly figures out the Shadow Broker's identity and background and from her own admission she had no idea what to expect from the Shadow Broker
  
• Through 50 years of archaeological research realizes that the galaxy has been going through a cycle of extinction, despite most evidence been destroyed
  
• Devises a method for studying ancient civilizations
  
• Tells Shepard information he's looking for off the top of her head
  

Tech Skill/Resources

• Repairs a comm tower
  
• Breaks through asari military encryptions
  
• Gives Shepard a device to see hidden wiring, and uploads a hack to their omni-tool
  
• [Squadmate] Disables an AA tower
  
• [Squadmate] Repairs AA guns
  
• Along with Ferron sets the Shadow Broker's ship to crash into a Cerberus cruiser
  
• Creates a time capsule for future races containing information on the Reapers and the Crucible that potentially allows the next cycle to finally defeat the Reapers
  

The Shadow Broker

After killing the previous broker, Liara assumed his position and gained access to the largest and most powerful information network in the galaxy.
Information

• In general has access to vast amounts of information
  
• Capable of purchasing the locations of planets rich in resources
  
• Tips off the alliance military to a pirate raid
  
• Warns a company about a Citadel inspection a week before it happens
  
• Tip the authorities off about an Eclipse red sand depo in exchange for half of the credits recovered.
  
• Ruins a politician's reputation with a smear campaign
  
• Tips off authorities to a smuggler's freighter in the system
  

Resources

• After listening in on a bug, pulls strings to get the Crucible project 16 tons of platinum within an hour
  
• Uses a huge amount of money to gain access to a secure Prothean vault
  
• Receives large amounts of useful minerals from various sources
  
• Able to give amnesty to several fugitives from council space
  
• Sets up safe houses and reliable contacts for journalists operating in the dangerous Terminus Systems
  
• Sets up neutral ground to prevent a civil war
  

Agents

• Tazzik: The Shadow Broker's personal enforcer, confirmed to still be working for the Broker after Liara assumed the position.
  
  • Feron seems to consider Tazzik more dangerous than an entire squad of Blue Suns mercs
  • Creates a large explosion with a single shot of a grenade launcher
  • Takes a biotic pulse from Liara
  • Equipped with a submachine gun. Also is grabbed by and takes a strike from Feron, and proceeds to beat him up.
• Feron: A Drell working for the borkerwho originally triple crosses Liara, but ultimately sacrifices himself to save Shepard's body. After she assumes the position he is the only person working for her to know her true identity.
  
  • Skill
    • Maneuvers a ship through an asteroid while avoiding fire from sentries
    • Quickly downloads a large amount of data from the Shadow Broker's computer
  • Physicals
    • Avoids gunfire
    • Tackles Liara out of the way of a grenade
    • Takes a biotic strike from Liara
    • Grabs Tazzik by the neck and strikes him in the chest, and is then beaten up by him
    • Locked in a device that repeatedly electrocutes him for possibly over a year and breaks out as soon as the power goes off for a moment (though he is left in a bad state after)
• Shadow Broker Support Team: A team of operatives capable of procuring almost any resource
  
• Shadow Broker Wet Squad: A small but lethal team of soldiers dedicated to assassination through various means
  
• Has agents infiltrate a cult to siphon off donations
  

Glyph: Glyph is the name of the Shadow Broker's personal data assistant

• General
  
  • Is a shell for a special data processing VI, that helps sift through the massive amounts of information
  • Possesses a camera
• Data Sifting
  
  • Capable of researching upgrades for Shepard
  • Collates information in order to determine the origin of a pistol
  • Finds an opportunity to infiltrate a casino and pulls up its schematics
  • Discovers Shepard's spectre access codes being used at the citadel archives
• Hacking
  
  • Easily hacks open a sealed vault in the Citadel archives from outside it
  • Interfaces with a piano
• Misc
  
  • Identifies approaching mercs, as well as an elcor mating totem
  • Tracks Shepard's clone across the Citadel archives
  • Attacks enemy morale

"The world of intrigue isn't that different from a dig site. Except that the dead bodies still smell."

I posted this list a couple months ago just to promote (myself and) my fellow musicians in Rochester and luckily gave myself a head start on the trouble of compiling artists, descriptions and links to where you can support them. You know musicians in Rochester. They're broke as hell, working in bars and kitchens, splitting $100 between four people at the end of a gig, usually just getting by. You probably know tons of them who just cancelled all the shows they had planned lately and even more who lost their jobs. If attending shows and buying merch from artists you love is important to you, and you can afford to do so, here is where you can. Follow these artists on social media! Share their music with your friends and family. You've got time to get acquainted with some new albums with the global pandemic and all. Add to this! Support local musicians!
​
Anamon - insta spotify bandcamp "Purple, Green and Yellow is the sophomore record from Anamon, a 3 piece from upstate New York led by Ana Emily Monaco. The band tread in the direction of country tinged jagged pop with varying tempos and echo-y and vibrato-soaked guitar squalls. Monaco’s vocals carry a dusky twang that suits the approach and adds a richness and depth that lingers in the ear canals of the listener. Anamon express their influences in a cohesive manner that leads to a steady foundation for some charming songwriting." - post-trash.com
Clibbus - insta spotify bandcamp "Originally conceived as a solo-homemade art and music multimedia project in the backyard of D'Aurelio's bedroom many years ago, the band became a full fledged live buffet of sensory overload when the three began to write together in late 2018... What's the most Reba you've ever Mac-entired? Those who may be bored of thinking or those who think too much ponder this question. Clibbus likes horses and dogs. The dog says the feeling is mutual." - floatedmag.com
Aweful Kanawful - insta spotify bandcamp "I really like this album and appreciate the sense of weirdness and mystery it offers up. You wonder how the hell something like the mad chamber pop of “Man of Steal” came together, but the liner notes leave as much to the imagination as they explain. Honestly, I like to think that this was all recorded with the band sitting in a sandbox like Brian Wilson doing Pet Sounds. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me." - modern-vinyl.com on "Clam's Casino"
Dangerbyrd - insta spotify bandcamp "The Rochester-based quartet plays without a shred of phony grandeur or self-imposed elegance. Dangerbyrd is down and dirty and a clever musical synthesis of vintage and classic. Just dig the band's guitar-driven rock 'n' roll and astute lyrics howled over its garage rock rumble. It's old, it's new, and it's the unheard strain of something familiar." - rochestercitynewspaper.com
Boy Jr. - insta spotify bandcamp "If there’s anything I’ve learned about Boy Jr., it’s to expect the unexpected. Rochester native Erica Lubman has been experimenting with music since childhood, combining her love for garage rock and indie pop with a flair for dramatic fashion. She’s equally likely to turn up on stage in a retro matching tracksuit as a leather skirt and torn T-shirt. As with her wardrobe, she shows off a wide range of songs in her repertoire – from punk to grunge." - nysmusic.com
Gary Lamaar - insta bandcamp "The title of Lamaar’s new album is “Freedom Rap.” The opening track of the same name is bookended by the refrain “fleet footed, loose tongue in the street,” establishing the emotional immediacy and quasi-punk ethos apparent throughout the album. His cadence sounds resolute and sovereign, delivering rhymes with a grit similar to emcees like MF DOOM and Talib Kweli." - rochestercitynewspaper.com
Fuzzrod - insta spotify bandcamp "This isn’t an album that sticks in one lane, though, and while that fuzziness is a recurring theme, there is more than one influence thrown into the pot with it. ‘Dum’ tosses a bit of early 90s alt-rock in there, bringing a Riot Grrrl vibe before ‘Fuck Work’ bounces its way into teenage rebellion. No-one is going to pinpoint it as a masterpiece of subtle song-writing, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun and deserves to be a punky live favorite for years to come." - ramblingsaboutwrestling.com
Tafai - insta soundcloud "need more.. so fire bruv" - soundcloud.com
Cammy Enaharo - insta spotify bandcamp "It was barely two minutes into the album “From the Garage,” by singer and songwriter Cammy Enaharo, before her distinctive voice and catchy groove were apparent. A harmonious marriage of songwriting, voice and melody conjure up a soothing euphoria when combined with the smoky rifts from her signature baritone ukulele." - democratandchronicle.com
Madeleine McQueen - insta spotify bandcamp "Madeleine McQueen, a 23-year-old songwriter from Rochester, NY, has something to say, and you should be listening. With musical influences ranging from Nirvana to Amy Winehouse and Joni Mitchell, McQueen’s voice cuts through her songs with conviction, soul, and grace—a rare cocktail for a young songwriter."
Televisionaries - insta spotify bandcamp "Perhaps on paper, the term "contemporary instrumental surf rock" does not sound very appealing, but the Televisionaries of Rochester have managed to make a masterpiece of the genre. There's a lot to digest with this record, but it's more than worth it. Highly recommended." - materialworldrecords.com
Overhand Sam - insta spotify bandcamp "OHS (Overhand Sam, referencing his approach to the neck on the guitar), just put out his latest LP ‘Longer Legs’ and it’s one of the years more ambitious releases. On the surface it seems like a traditional 60’s Psych Rock genre exercise, but he’s offering up a lot more to the listener here. 11 songs tightly arranged and packed with enough ideas to reward repeated spins. Singable hooks, danceable rhythms, experimental zone outs, and oh yea…guitars. Guitars on guitars on guitars." - withguitars.com
Full Body - insta spotify bandcamp "Once "Always There" hit our inbox, we did our homework. We have to admit that we weren’t too impressed with Full Body’s first tracks... How times have changed! Don’t be scared by the rushed “noise rock” categorization, Full Body delivers here a palatable and digestive experience. Entrée, plat, dessert. With Always There, Full Body succeeded in crafting tasty and relevant compositions for both newbies on the scene and seasoned musicians (and even technicians). The Rochester quartet only left us with one luxurious anxiety: the fear of musical abandonment in the future." - slowculture.eu
Moses Rockwell - insta spotify bandcamp Rockwell spits rhymes with intelligent flow and charismatic swagger, throwing out poetic references like a well-versed librarian. "The Unfortunate Case of Mortis Rocksalt" is a candid reaction to societal issues through humorous observations of everyday life. You can hear the grin in his voice as Rockwell recites his inner thoughts on "An Old Yarn" and "Beak Down," while his crisp articulation is complemented by atmospheric electronic textures on "Mostly Harmless." - rochestercitynewspaper.com
Harmonica Lewinksi - insta spotify bandcamp "In a tight 28 minutes, Head Honcho spans the dial from weirdo surf to greasy garage to dirty disco to party punk. Recorded in Rochester NY by analog wizard Alex Patrick on ½ inch reel to reel. This full length tape from Harmonica Lewinski twists and turns its way through 12 cuts of swampy rock n roll, with booty shaker instros mixed in. Turn it over and start again." - imposemagazine.com
Brendan Lake - insta spotify bandcamp "In this, his first solo offering, Lake has achieved something self-evident. At its very core, beyond musical adornment or recycled melody, here is something of the utmost importance that many have forgotten. Childish Ways is about the first time you woke up and saw the world a bit differently. The first time you let something go and realized it was lost forever. The first time you found something else, both better and worse, but true nonetheless." - Reel Time Records
The Fox Sisters - insta spotify bandcamp "Have you ever danced so hard your body couldn’t keep up? Heart thumping, sweat beading off of the back of your neck, the onset ache in your glutes setting in? The Fox Sisters will make you dance ‘til you drop." - meltedmagazine.com
Hallucination Realized - insta spotify bandcamp
The Low Spirits - insta bandcamp

The past few months, I’ve been seeing a ton of comments in the vein of “what happened to all the bubblegum pop?” I’ll start off by saying if that’s your favorite type of music, it can suck for that type of music to be absent. But I’ll also say that things evolve. Music isn’t released in a bubble. You may be wondering what on earth happened. Why are all the radio hits subdued, sad, and mellow? What happened to the party tracks of the early 2010s? Where are all the pop girls? The answer is complicated and takes quite a bit of social context, a little art history, and a pinch of music theory to understand.
I’m here to help you understand the rise of moody pop.
I’ll start off by talking about the elephant in every room, Billie Eilish. Her debut album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? is slated to release at midnight (and is out in some areas). I won’t spoil anything, but it’s a bleak record. The singles all trend on dark, depressing, and devoid of any sort of saccharine sounds. Her songs touch on subjects that seem foreign to pop music, such as fears of sleep paralysis, a fictional tale about murder-suicide, and themes of depression, self-loathing, and anxiety throughout her entire discography. It’s a pretty bold record, but if someone were to take a time machine from 2009 and listen to this, they would think “what the fuck happened?”
So what happened?
I touched upon a bit of this in an earlier post about a short-lived genre called chillwave. In 2008, America experienced its biggest financial crisis in over 75 years when the Great Depression plagued the American economy. In 2008, an economic recession took place that had rippling effects on the entire world for years to come, and 11 years later, it still has a profound effect on the global economy. It’s a complicated issue, but basically, banks indulged in subprime lending, giving people mortgages that they definitely would not be able to pay. The housing bubble burst, property value plummeted, and banks needed to be bailed out in order to prevent a worldwide financial crisis.
College grads around this time were thrusted into a world that was economically unsustainable, a world where they were not welcome. Middle class college grads in places like New York moved to areas like Bushwick and Williamsburg where they could afford rent and made music in their bedrooms, embracing DIY culture and washed out, lo-fi sounds, vocal samples, and retro synths. A lot of indie music that came out at this time was drenched in reverb, slow, and featured quite a bit of nostalgia towards the 80s. It become escapism for a generation who oftentimes couldn’t afford the luxuries of their parents.
Another influence and blip in the timeline of moody pop is Lana Del Rey’s debut album, Born To Die. So much has been said about this album, but perhaps the most interesting case for this album being so influential is just how much the album sold after its initial week. Born To Die released at second to a solid 77k in its first week, behind Adele’s 21. However, what’s remarkable is that the album never left the charts. In January 2018, Lana Del Rey became one of three women to have an album have 300 weeks on the Billboard 200.
So, what makes Born To Die so special, so influential, so worthy of such an accolade? In a year filled with the rise of EDM and explosive choruses, Born To Die was a slow, somber, sobering record. Lana Del Rey may not have had chillwave production on her tracks, but her vocals evoked that carefree, sundrenched atmosphere. She eschewed the production of what was in vogue and instead stripped down her sound. Songs like Born To Die and National Anthem had percussion that was muted and while the record didn’t have the summery synths of chillwave, they were different sides of the same coin. Born To Die is as sleepy and hazy as its indie counterparts and became a cult classic because of it. The record still continues to sell today, becoming a staple for the record player craze of the last few years and still faring quite well in the streaming age.
Lorde’s Pure Heroine is another example of a landmark record that has grown a sort of cult following. Following the mega-successful debut single Royals, Lorde followed up with a record that feels reminiscent of Lana’s hazy Born To Die, but this record has a different texture. There’s a ton of reverb, a lot of shoegaze-like synths, and pitch shifted vocals. Lorde may not have directly been influenced by the flurry of chillwave artists and accompanying genres like witch house and vaporwave, but there’s a lot of similarities. Take something like Tennis Court, with a droning synth and prickly percussion - doesn’t it sound quite similar to something like oOoOO’s Burnout Eyes? There’s the warm pads, drum machines, and pitch shifted background vocals, and the more you pay attention to the production, the more Pure Heroine sounds like an evolved version of that hazy bedroom pop that was being created around the late 2000’s/early 2010’s.
Of course, Pure Heroine also has deep ties to hip hop. The crashing drums of Team and pitched down vocal loop sound more like they’re from a DJ Screw track than a pop song. Lorde’s production on this record borrows more from the hip hop wheelhouse than the pop one, especially when it comes to drums. These crisp, digital drums matched with the chill synths and cloud production were foreign to pop music at the time, but were a massive staple in a hip hop subgenre called cloud rap. Clams Casino has widely been credited for popularizing the sound, but its roots date farther back from that. Take Lorde’s Ribs, which starts with this droning, omnipresent synth and a chopped vocal sample that moves in stereo for nearly a minute before Lorde enters the track. Now, listen to Clams Casino’s I’m God a dreamy track from his 2011 Instrumentals tape. Notice the similarities?
There’s a lot of other artists who have made their own marks on the pop realm in the early 2010s before we got to the current state of pop with artists like Billie Eilish and Khalid.
Banks’ 2013 EP Fall Over was a release that saw a lot of love in the indie community with its deep, blaring synths and alluring, mysterious vocals. She then continued her career wading into these waters with dark, brooding pop tracks that felt equally moody and bombastic on songs like Gemini Feed and tracks that felt sultry and retro on songs like Beggin For Thread.
Broods’ 2013 self-titled EP shared a lot of the same production quirks. The opening track Pretty Thing felt like it was Gold Panda-inspired with all the vocal chops and whispery vocals. Coattails features a pulsating, deep bass and squeaky synths which add to the retro appeal.
Sky Ferreira 2012 single Everything Is Embarrassing, which _Jak covered in great detail feels like a stopgap between Blood Orange’s 2011 chillwave record Coastal Grooves and his 2013 record Cupid Deluxe. Punchy percussion, dreamy synths, and sorrow-filled keys are evident here, and it feels like the ultimate downtempo sad pop track.
Mr Little Jeans’ 2011 cover of Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs was a cover that was far ahead of its time - there’s the dark synths that would become integral to Banks’ and many other artists’ sounds, the hazy, whispery vocals, and the vocal chopping. This is mostly a forgotten compared to a lot of later tracks but it’s a stellar cover that helped shape the sound of the era.
However, one of the most important artists to come out of this time was Purity Ring. Their 2012 debut, Shrines, became a cult classic overnight, incorporating some EDM elements into their sound that gave the record a punch to it. Their bold synths and witch house-inspired sounds influenced a lot of dance and electronic music. Ironically enough, the same week TNGHT’s self-titled EP was released, another landmark record that would become the blueprint for artists in the years to come.
There’s so much more that’s come out around this time, but it’s easy to start tracing a thread and timeline to how we got towards the current trend of moody pop being so pervasive on the charts.
Over the last few years, there’s been a ton of articles about why pop music has been trending this way. It’s been reported that “Pop music become more moody in the last 50 years.” It’s obvious that these minor key hits are here to stay. It’s unclear what exactly pop will sound like in the next decade, but right now, we’re in the midst of the moody pop renaissance. Artists like Billie Eilish and Khalid are growing up in a tumultuous world that, like it was with millennials, doesn’t welcome them.
I don’t have to remind you of the struggles of the world. From my own American perspective, there’s been so much alarming behavior coming from Gen Z generation - skyrocketing loneliness, anxiety, and depression affects them on a large scale. Maybe it’s stressful testing, maybe it’s substance abuse, or maybe it’s a fear of rising campus violence, but all I know is they have it harder than their parents did. And, as a result, the music has seemed to become more bleak, more downtempo, more moody, either as a result of younger artists dealing with these subjects or as a way to appeal to the younger demographic. Shawn Mendes and Khalid’s Youth was a downtempo, somber but uplifting track that dealt with the rise of school shootings. There’s a song on Billie Eilish’s new record about drug abuse and overdose. Even something as innocent as Lauv and Troye Sivan’s “i’m so tired…” is apathetic in its name and sound, a simple proclamation of being “tired of love songs” and wanting to go home.
There’s so much more to discuss but I would love to hear what you all think. Is moody pop here to stay? Do you hate this type of music? What do you think is next?

Room 1515: The Search for an Inception.
Let’s get one thing straight: I knew exactly what I was doing when I came to this hotel. I’d heard through the rumor mill of a place like this for months now. Any writer or respectable artist lacking as much inspiration as me would be searching for a place like this like a lost social security card. Needless to say, I sought this place out to the best of my ability. I chased rumor after rumor, scrounging up old newspaper clippings, and investigating ‘disallowed’ texts from libraries left and right. I needed some sort of basis for my next story, something I could hopefully spin into a book.
I have been an artistic and mental dry well for months on end. So naturally when the moment came where I finally discovered my target location, I threw my belongings into a bag and hit the road. How could I pass up a place with only rumors and unverified documents identifying it as actually real, right? Precisely, I knew what I was doing when I came here. I knew the risks in both regards, if it wasn’t real and the terrifying possibility that it is. However, it’s clear I am not the only guest to this establishment it seems? No, this place is crawling with social outcasts (like myself), men in, just as you imagine cheesy detective attire, what appear to be ‘regulars’, and the honest to god vacationers. The problem with that last group is that I can’t even remotely begin to fathom what the appeal for this place is outside of experiencing a lovecraftian tale in reality. Maybe I am the only one, but the state of the unoccupied floor 15 left me disappointed, if not surprised.
I ordered my room in a very cautious and deliberate manner, that meaning that I intentionally chose an isolated floor from the rest of my fellow patrons. The hallway leading to my room was nothing short of below expectations. The walls were an awkward beige color with the occasional dark spots, and the walls smelled of some kind of mold. The carpeting was clearly done in a hurry, and showed signs of age of the years, with torn seams and definitely not up to standard patch jobs. To me, the state of this place was peculiar considering the divided rumors of the hotel itself. There is obviously no correct answer here, but the locals seem to be positively spot on two schools of thought. Some argue that this hotel has only been here for a few days, which would really be alarming for the immense history and overall aged appearance of just this hallway.
Another group would say that this place has been a scourge on this land for generations, and that the origin is shrouded in uncertainty, simply it has been here for as long as they can remember. No matter the origin, nothing could have prepared me for the state of the room and for the fact that it was breathtaking. The overwhelming contrast from the hallway immediately became apparent by manor solely of the door to 1515 itself. The handle was encrusted with a fine golden material that formed a shape of a lion's head on the center of the lock. When I took my first step into the room, my nostrils were invaded by cleaning products, which matched the well kept appearance of the room itself.
The bed was tucked properly and layered with decorative pillows and the sheets were made of fine quality material fit for a king. Speaking of being fit for a king, parts of the interior were littered with paintings that oozed medieval and renaissance era style. The bathroom was neatly compact, stuffed with products and a grand bathtub. The mirror of the bathroom spoke to me the most however, it was pieced together in a gorgeous and regal manor. An outline of bright silver and emerald withheld the mirror which was spacious enough to cover my whole body. It felt like I was almost looking at myself in HD, like somehow my tattered old jacket, painfully overgrown hair, and overall battered appearance wasn’t actually the subject of stares. In a way, it was almost as if someone had just put graphic shaders on reality; the light your pc on fire variety. So much as the presence of the mirror was almost haunting, as if it should be accompanied by a cathedral choir, my own reflection felt like a piercing gaze and a window into my soul.
I had no idea how this was possible, but I immediately documented the mirror in my journal as my first actual paranormal encounter. In the main room there was a standing table for a widescreen tv, several lamp shades, clothing chests, a miniature fridge, a large window with golden drapes, and the typical accommodating luxury items for a fancy hotel. However, I took notice of a desk, with a basket of assorted fruits and a hotel directory all addressed with my name attached to a note card.
“Jackson D. Merric.”
The letters of my name were the cheap fake-gold color you’d find at a cvs pharmacy ‘letters’ aisle, needless to say they were lifeless and not all as attractive as likely intended. The contents of the note card were a directory for the hotel, stating the hours for the bar, the pool, and the typical hotel fare. All of the text was black and white, clearly from a colorless printer, barring bright red letters accompanied by a yellow caution symbol stating that floor 17 is closed indefinitely. This was not a surprise to me, considering that the elevator had a clearly missing floor 17 button; with only a hole and the defining metallic scrapes of something torn out in a hurry. The note however meant little to me in this circumstance, or rather the contents of it meant little, because the fact that the letter was here at all was perplexing. I had only just checked into my room at the reception desk mere minutes prior, I did not have any prior reservations, so how did this entire assorted basket get here before my bags?
I knew there after that my room was just a microcosm of something much much deeper occurring within the hotel itself. I wanted to know more.
I spent my next few moments taking in the view from the hotel window, the view of the lake in the distance was admittedly gorgeous, and almost uncomfortably so. By all accounts, it really was breathtaking, beautiful trees and accompanied lucious fields teeming to the brim with wildlife, all over a setting sun. Yet, it was to me the uncanny valley equivalent of a scenic view, it felt off, like someone was just injecting that sunset straight into my mind. My moment of contemplation was interrupted by a single pound on my door. The Bellboy had finally arrived with my bags.
“Hey there!”
Nothing, he was dead silent, and his long shaggy hair kept his face from anything close to eye contact.
“Thank you! Hey, you don't have the time do you?”
I knew he wasn’t going to speak, I just wanted to see how far I could take this to learn as much as I could about the boy before me. His head finally glanced up at me for a moment, and I could partially make out the least human expression I have ever seen a person make. Suffice to say, he looked dead.
“The suns coming down you know? I just wanted to get the direct time, thanks for the basket by the way.”
He cautiously reached out his wrist to me, trembling, like he was learning how to stretch his arm for the first time. On his wrist stood an ancient looking wrist watch, which read exactly 12 pm... in the afternoon.
— I knew, without a shadow of a doubt what I was getting myself into coming here, but that didn’t exactly mean I knew where to start. Hell, initially I didn’t really know what to be looking for at all. Then, my next objective came to me by way of raw caffeine pretending to be a human. The girl before stood at what could I assume to be 5’2 with long brown hair, and slightly blonde highlights. She rocked back and forth as the elevator moved downwards, if peppiness as a concept was a person, this was her. Admittedly I was attempting to avoid making conversation, the standard fare for me usually, but when the girl noticed my journal conversation became a must for her.
“Is that made of leather?!”
“Yeah, I’ve had it for a long time, I use it to jot down my life and idea, basic stuff”
“Oh! Do you like writing too?”
“Actually yeah, I suppose so, it’s why I’m here honestly?”
“Seriously?! Dude are you kidding?”
“No I’m—
“That’s why I’m here too, this place is like a gold mine for everything that doesn’t belong to be seen by the public!”
I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation, honestly. Maybe it was just how little I planned to interact with other guests or how nonchalant and casual she seemed about this place being shrouded in incomprehensible rumors. We chatted for a moment, and she explained to me that she was headed to the library in the hotel, one I didn’t know they had.
“That isn’t in the directory right?”
“Uhm, yeah it is.” Her expression looked almost puzzled by me for a moment.
The elevator stopped on floor B1 and it revealed to me an open library, sprawling with shelves and all manner of books. How did I not know of this, and how did I never see that there were more floor options than just the main floors? The library was enormous, and straight out of some childhood imagination.
“What even are all these books? What is this?”
“Dude, are you new to this type of deal or something?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Is this the first time you’ve ever tried exploring this side of the world?”
“Pardon?”
She looked at me with one eyebrow raised and an almost disapproving smirk. She took a deep breath, gestured for me to grab a seat.
“Let’s get one thing straight, you really don’t have a clue what you’re in for huh?”
“I guess not.”
“Listen buddy, for your sake I’m gonna keep it simple. The world as you may possibly know it is filled with unspeakable horrors and tales from those who have witnessed them are outcast, and hidden from the world. A lot of the first hand accounts are buried by the government and those in power to erase any chance of the major populous ever becoming too aware of what is taking place just below the surface of our society. The written archives are stored all over the world, and this hotel? It happens to have a vast collection. From stories about park rangers discovering something unspeakable, ordinary people becoming wrapped up in something horrible, or drifters like you winding up in a place like this. What you’re seeing now is a place with only a fraction of that information withheld.”
It took me a moment to even comprehend what I had heard. I knew I shouldn’t be surprised, I spent days on end researching the Hotel Non Dormiunt. The content I discovered along the way brought me into a world I was not entirely prepared to witness. Rumors of the origins of this place, and would could have possibly led to the inception of this place. Right then and there, I knew what my next objective was, and what I wanted.
“What is this place?”
“I just told you, this is a collection of—“
“No, I mean what is the Hotel?”
“Not a clue. I’m just here for the knowledge, all of these books are free material for days, I’m gonna make so much money off of this stuff.”
Well, at least she was devoted to her goals, even if it was kinda theft?
I spent the next while of my time researching the library for any manner of content about the hotel itself. I chased after alphabetical order, passing by dates and novels of all kinds. Eventually I conceded defeat and asked the girl who was loading at least twenty books into a gym bag, for aid.
“Check the catalogues, that’s just documents, maybe you’ll find something there? Honestly, you probably shouldn’t waste your time with this, just get what you have and get out of here. That’s what I’m doing, peace!”
Paper after paper, I finally located a catalogue that stated “Hotel Non Dormiunt check in dates.” At the top of the page stood an incredibly uncomfortable date. “June 6th 1944: Check ins”. For awhile, I was not positive on the relevance of that date until I saw an annotation of the location “Normandy.” Wasn’t June 6th 1944 D-Day? The catalogue was covered in dates that made the hairs on my skin raise. Days like 9/11, November 22nd 1963, and so many more days in history were all marked on the catalogue. On those days, few people checked in, and there were few names of note. How could this even be possible, the hotel opened around these places on those dates.
How could it have moved all the way over the world, crossing continents? My mind raced with confusion. The hotel had accordingly been open even in times during the 1700s, but beyond that the catalogue has a clear tear where former dates once were. I fell back and slammed against the bookshelf behind me. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Beside the catalogue, I found a document that stated staff. Jackpot. I tried to transcribe as many as I could, but frankly the amount of staff members was somewhat astonishing to me, there was page after page with names.
Bellboy: Maxwell B.
Head Chef: Ian W
Janitor: Samuel M.
Service manager: Bryant (No last name identified)
Marketing team: Jacob M and Michael S. (What marketing?)
Garden keeper: Diana L.
Now there was a name very clearly expunged from the very top of the document, where I assume it would say “Manager”. I was left puzzled, if there were pages of staff, where the hell were they? How have I only encountered that Bellboy, Maxwell. I was also absolutely positive they did not have a garden, in fact after I gathered my information, I went back to the ground floor.
Hotel Non Dormiunt upon immediate judgment seems to have a very old school appeal. The carpet patterns are a sort of 1920s red and black checkered pattern not too much unlike a casino. I wandered around for close to an hour when I finally found it, a metallic gate like door marked with the name “Garden” marked above it. When I made my way into the garden, I observed the exterior of the hotel was very medieval based, with arching marble and stone gargoyles lining the square garden. The garden stood in a sizable square, with walls on all signs and only the sun way above , shining down into the quaint little space. At the very center of the garden stood a woman in a Victorian era dress, with a parasol over her shoulder.
She was beautiful. Her hair was a flowing red color, which contrasted well to her emerald colored eyes. Her skin was soft and youthful, she couldn’t have been a day over 20. Using context clues, I figured this was Diana. She looked composed, focused on the beaming sunlight above the garden awning. When she noticed my presence her demeanor changed, and a soft inviting smile formed on the edge of her lips. Just looking at her made a wave of nostalgia wash over me, it felt like I knew her so well already. She waved a hand to me and for a moment, I did nothing but keep staring. She gestured her hand towards the small tea table beside her, and looked at me with a questioning gaze. I was not even aware she was beckoning me until she tilted her head out of confusion over my gaping jaw.
“Do you mean me?”
“Absolutely.”
Her voice was heavenly, soft, and motherly with an overall angelic posh tone. The world seemed to pause just by standing next to her, she was completely otherworldly.
“Starstruck, are we?”
I tried to speak coherent words but they came out more like a collection of syllables. Before me she prepared us two glasses of tea and invited me to sit across from her.
“Well, why have you come to the garden today young one?”
“I...I don’t really know?”
Through a gentle giggle, she spoke: “Well, do not fret, perhaps you would rather speak about the garden. Does it look as wonderful as you may remember?”
“Pardon?”
She ignored me. “Well, to your right you will see a row of roses, pretty right? On the left, my tulips, and to the right of those: lilies by the fountain.”
“it’s all beautiful, how did you manage to grow all of this here?”
“Ages of work.”
“Speaking of that, I just wanted to ask, do you know about the hotel, or where it came from?”
She looked hurt, and clutched her chest in retort. “Over there you will see my yellow carnations, lovely, yes?”
“Certainly, but do you?”
“Do you really want an answer to that question?”
“Yes, I do.”
She crossed her hands over one another and let our air through her nose. Apart from her appearance, her face seemed to wrinkle in some manner of anxiety.
“Jackson, do not waste your time with this place. You are still so young, you have spent your life alone and wandering, this is not your destination.” I started to feel really uncomfortable, a bead of sweat ran down my cheek.
“You have spent your life searching for a direction after that day, do you remember it? When your soft weary head collapsed upon that pillow and your mind conjured a wonderful world for you to stay in.”
How could I forget. The day I lost everything in only a few hours. My family, my innocence. I have long since grown from it by now, but the stress of her knowledge made a dam of emotion inside my mind break for a moment. How could she possibly know all of this, what the hell is even happening?
“How do you—“
“We’ve met before, do you not recall my face in your dreams, our garden in the otherworld of your subconscious?”
Of course I knew her, how could I forget someone like this, I kicked myself for not recognizing her immediately. My mind imploded on itself for a moment, the weight of merely coming to this hotel was happening so fast and directly, it was like I was orchestrated to have even arrived here. I couldn’t even fathom the words to articulate my terror, I was paralyzed by fear. My mind froze and a voice inside me began to scream that I needed to leave this place as fast I possibly could. My fight or flight had been triggered and it was looking to be flight as my option of choice.
“I know this is a lot to take in at one moment Jackson, that’s why I just wanted to speak about the garden. I wanted to distract the hotel for a moment, so you could escape. He sees you now however, and it will be only time until you cannot leave, so if you desire to find your answer, go and get your truth before you lose the ability to see it.”
I hesitated for a moment, who was ‘he’, and why did it feel like the peaceful atmosphere turned to the feeling of eyes watching me. I wanted to open my mouth and ask so many questions but before I could even think of what I wanted to say next, she spoke again.
“Jackson, if you dare to know the truth, you need to properly enter the hotel. Make your way to floor 17, in room 1717 you will locate a pail, collect and return to your room. Floor 17 will not be simple to traverse child; you will need to avoid any and all children you see approach you in the dark. If at any point you begin to feel a migraine you will only have mere minutes to obtain the sought after pail. Do not speak to any guests you encounter, and for all that is pure and good in the world, if you hear a mans laughter, just jump out of a window. That will be a preferred outcome” She winced and held her chest once more, the wrinkles on her face seem to grow deeper and her lively glow faded.
“What do I do with the pail?”
“Fill it with water, and douse your mirror, you saw it, did you not?”
“The one in my room?”
“Yes, you must wet your mirror and the next step there after will be up to you, so go and get your answer.” Her hair seemed to lose it’s red color, and speckles of grey formed in patches on it. Her dress appeared tattered and stained, and the yellow carnations began to wilt.
“Hurry Jackson, if you waste time, you will lose your chance, they know of you know, and I cannot protect you as I once did in your mind.You must learn what this hotel is, or rather what this hotel is not.”
I sat up from the table and turned to the door. The state of the garden was now dilapidated and heartbreaking. I could feel a lump in my throat form, I wanted to quit, to grab Diana and never let go. Yet, I steeled my will and marched on through the door. As I walked back into the hallway, I could hear the door lock behind me.
—
The elevator was still missing the button to floor 17, So I decided on a better course of action. When I returned to my room, it was as I left it, this bothered me more than I care to admit. It felt like the whole room should have been torn up thrashed to pieces. I knew that there was only one way I was gonna get into floor 17, and it was the only way to get to a higher floor without an elevator or staircase (serious fire code violation by the way). I grabbed my backpack and threw it over my shoulder, knowing this could be it, I made sure to bring my journal. I threw open my window and stepped out until the sill. I’ve always been scared of heights, but this was a new kind of terror. I slipped, I would fall to my most certain to death and likely be impaled by the architecture towards the bottom. I grabbed onto the nearest gargoyle statue and cautiously lifted myself upon its head.
I reached up for the window sill of 1616 and took about ten minutes to pull myself up to it. As I sat up against the window, I peered inside and had to ask myself “What in the hell is happening in here?!”. I didn’t have time to think about that, however. I hoisted myself to the next gargoyle and noticed the temperature was simmering. It caused my hand to slip and I banged against the side of the window. “Shit, sorry.” I said to myself. Finally, I pulled myself atop the hot gargoyle and jumped up to grab the 1717 window sill. I peered down for a moment, admiring that I had actually managed to climb two stories.
I knew there was gonna be only way into the pitch black room before me, I mean it’s not like there is a handle on the exterior. I retrieved my metallic flashlight, and smashed the glass as hard as I could. It cracked a few bits, and shattered after a few more swings. The pitch black room before me was beginning to become more visible. I took one step in and the steaming air immediately hit me. The warmth of the room was stunning, I couldn't discover the source of the heat, but it was like a thick mist of heat. Immediately, I could hear stirring in the hallway, banging all around. This was about to get difficult.
I began searching the room with my flashlight as quickly as my eyes would allow. The pail was nowhere in sight when suddenly all of the banging halted for a moment. For some reason, I couldn't control my stomach and vomited nearly impulsively. I knew right then and there I wouldn’t have time to hesitate, I would need to find the pail and get out of floor 17. A child’s voice began to speak to me from behind the front door.
The voice was distorted and hoarse, it sounded like several different children talking all at once. “Can you show me how to get back to my mom?”
I realized something terrible when the door knob began to turn. I charged for the door and slammed my shoulder against it, beginning to scream out of panic. That only made things worse, it attracted more of whatever was about to open that door. I slammed the lock of the door and that only seemed to piss them off more. Now the children’s voices sounded like a symphony of questions.
“What are you doing here?”
I scrambled to find the pail, checking under the beds and then deciding on the bathroom. Low and behold, sitting in the bathtub was a shiny golden pail. I grabbed the pail and raced for the window, but as I got to the edge I noticed a major problem.
“Where are the gargoyles?” I screamed. There was no down that wouldn’t assure death.
The banging on the door began to halt for a moment again, and a scream rang out in the darkness. It sounded like another group of people had found their way into floor 17. The girl’s scream was horrible, and I could hear thrashing battering the walls outside. As terrible as it was, this was my chance. I couldn’t let her life go to waste. This is why floor 17 was closed. Whatever sort of nightmare hell spawn they have running here, I knew that it needed to be exposed. I needed to find out the truth and escape. Why was floor 17 this way, the rest of the hotel while concerning was withholding such nightmares on the middle of an obscure floor. My life as a boring and simple average author was feeling like a long way away now. Regardless, I had to complete my goal all of these other people are doomed if I can’t expose the truth.
All in one moment, the banging ceased and the whole floor went deathly silent. I sat with my ear against the door for thirty minutes, just listening intently, I could not hear so much as the shuffle of feet. I didn’t want to risk them returning. I know this is stupid, but I’d like to say, put yourself in my shoes here. The hallway was pitch black and reeked; some manner of decay invaded my nostrils. I turned to my left and saw rooms lining the hallway, all with a welcome sight at the end. The elevator, I could call it and escape to a different floor. Carefully I made my way to the door, when a guttural groan escaped from the mouth of something at the other end of the hall. The massive hulking beast had fleshy tendrils in a place where I assumed it’s arms would be. It’s face was solely teeth, a culmination of human jaws.
They clacked to themselves in anticipation. The legs on the beast were lopsided and not at all facing the way they were supposed to be. It was turned towards the wall and shaking grotesquely, unaware of my presence. I couldn't call the elevator, the slightest shift of movement was enough to make it growl in curiosity. I did not know if it could see, but it sure could hear.
At that moment, room 1739 opened. The man who emerged looked to be one of those detective types, and he was followed by a younger girl and two men. They moved quietly as I did, but they would not be so lucky. The young girl among them began to whimper and cry as quietly as she could, but the creature heard it as clear as day. The detective screamed to the three to run, and run they did, barreling down the hallway. I slammed the elevator call button with my fist and prayed to God it would come in time. I knew I wouldn’t have much of a choice, it was do or die.
“RUN MAN!!” One of the men screamed to me.
I just needed a few seconds, just a few seconds and I could escape. The beast grabbed hold of the girl's leg and whipped her to the floor. The men turned back to try and help her but the detective kept running. She screamed violently and begged for help, the men were immediately slammed to the side and they began to scream too. I was already frozen in terror, but when the beast began to talk like a child, I struggled to keep my stomach in line. The detective arrived next to me clamming for breath.
“Y-you called the damn elevator?”
I didn’t answer him, I could only watch in terror as the girl has her arm ripped from her body, scattering bones and flesh onto the floor. The men convulsed backwards where they were impaled straight through the skull, they fell limp instantly. The creature feasted upon all three with it’s mouths, cackling the entire time.
The world around me seemed to pause, and before I knew it, I was dragged into the elevator by the detective. He sent us down to floor 1. The entire elevator ride down, I did not speak to him, the only thing I could focus on was the poor girl and the laughter of a man echoing throughout the hall just as the detective pulled me. When we finally arrived at ground level, I looked at the man.
“You left them…”
“They knew the risks.” He said, before stepping out, adjusting his hat and making for the foyer.
I was still frozen in place, terrified of what I had just seen. It took me a moment to stumble out of the elevator and begin my walk back to the garden. I wanted to see Diana. But I could not find the door. I was in the spot I was sure it would be in, but it was absent. A man in stereotypical Hawaiian vacation attire was walking passed with an ice cooler trailing behind him.
“Hey buddy, whatcha starin’ at that wall for…wait don’t tell me, you’ve had too much to drink ohohoh, don’t worry buddy I get you.”
“Where is the garden?”
“Oh, do they have a garden here? It didn’t say anything about that on the brochure!”
What brochure? That was all I could focus on for a moment, before I just nodded to the man and made my way back to the elevator.
When I returned to 1515, all I could do was fall into my bed and weep for a moment. What sort of nightmare am I witnessing? I did not have a clue what I had gotten myself into. But I knew I was about to find out the answer, I rose from the bed and grasped the pail in my hands. I could still find out the truth, I could get people to leave here and help all of these people. I took to filling up the pail with water as commanded. But as the water began to fill the pail, my blood ran cold. There was a harrowing laughter throughout all of floor 15. The man's laughter was heavy and booming with every bellowing gasp for air. The pail filled up, and I knew what to do. My door flew open and the bellboy had a shotgun in his hands and a look of intent in his eyes that was absent earlier.
I slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it, but that didn't deter him from firing straight into the door. I wasted no time splashing the entire contents of the pail onto the mirror. The glass began to shake like the liquid that had just touched it. It began to create a swirling motion and the mirror then became alight with a golden glow. The bellboy had just finished busting the padlock off, and I did the only thing I could think to do and put my finger into the mirror. Instantly, my entire body was pulled into another realm.
—
When I opened my eyes, the world around me was devoid of color. I was at the foyer of the hotel once more, but everything was grey. There was no semblance of life anywhere to be seen. Frozen. They were all frozen, the people in the foyer were paused, human statues. The world around me did not have a temperature, I could not feel anything. Was I frozen too? No, I could move my legs. I could still move forward. The world was silent. I could not hear my footsteps, or my heartbeat. My soul was in a limbo. I could only reflect at this point.
There were so many guests. So many people in the hotel, were they all frozen too? Could they see? Have I failed them? These people came here for whatever reason and have likely seen their fair share of differing events, but could they be experiencing this as well? The silence was broken by clapping. It was slow and loud enough to fill the foyer with sound. Then, he emerged. A man in a blazer, styled slick back hair and a regal appearance. He stood on the above walk away, staring down at me while still clapping. I walked closer to the man, and I noticed a badge on his blazer.
Manager.
“Good to finally meet you, Jackson.”
I tried to speak, but no sound emerged from my lips, I was silent.
“Don’t bother, humans aren’t supposed to be in a realm like this, human mental understanding is far too limited to be able to comprehend the nature of a place like this”.
I couldn't tell how or when, but in a flash he was before me, looking me right in the eyes.
“I already know your questions, this meeting was prearranged the moment your soul was set free to the world by the man upstairs, when you were born I knew everything about how I wanted you to come to me.”
I did not feel alone in my thoughts, it was as if my brain was having it’s every idea taken from it.
The manager took a deep breath and sighed in disappointment.
“Alright, I set you to be here, so let’s just get to your questions. You’re asking in your head, what is this hotel? When I was born into this universal system, I observed you humans briefly for an age. You would all fail to grow, at every core of a person was a perception of the world. What one grew into, what they experienced, it shaped them into a person with a perception of how they viewed the world, what they thought was right and wrong. I became obsessed with humanities simple understanding, I wanted to see how much I could control by manipulating perception.” He pauses.
“Jackson, I have made many men kill each other by making entire civilizations believe what I wanted them to. Technically, humanistic understanding of history still isn’t wrong, wars were fought for reasons and everyone had their own pure distinctive motivations. Leaders led their subjects and followers to the next step of perception. But one day, I grew tired of watching humans fight. No, I wanted to see them at their most curious. In the olden days, this hotel was but an inn. I wanted to see how rumors would spread among you all, what you were all capable of doing. I wanted to see humans scared, I wanted to see them happy, I wanted to see humans. As simple and pathetic as you may all be to this universe, this rock in space has given birth to an almost precious attribute that humans share. It is as I said, your perception, how you all view the world you reside in. I desired to watch it all unfold.”
I could not even speak, I had nothing left to say, and it seems he already knew that.
“I knew from the beginning we would meet Jackson, I arranged your entire life so that we would finally encounter one another. Every guest here in this hotel? I arranged them all to be here, some for fun, some for terror, some for mystery. The hotel itself is molded by how one sees the world. You remember the library girl, yes? She is a dreamer not unlike yourself, so the hotel gave her a library. Your garden? You are the only one it was visible for. Diana? Just a tool for me. Every guest here is experiencing something completely different, sometimes groups share what they see. I do love a story with plenty of characters. Every action that led to our meeting today was just me guiding you along. Every single interaction was me leading your perception. You are asking yourself, Jackson, why? Why you? No particular reason, I simply wanted to see the scope of how one would react to this meeting.”
“But now, I must confess. I don’t have a plan for you now, Jackson. I know you desire to tell people to escape, so that their lives aren’t at risk. Jackson, nobody here is a risk. Everyone is meant to be here, and if they died here, it was chosen from birth. There is no one to save. But if it would make you comfortable, I would like to see how humans I have not tampered with react to your psychotic ramblings. It is ultimately up to you, if you so choose, I can take your tale; everything you want to say as it is and put it into books, I can spread the story anywhere from your internet to a local bar. It is your choice, I will not tamper with this decision. I apologize for the brevity of the events today, I was eager with anticipation to finally have this meeting be real. You may now make a decision.”
I thought for a moment, about everything I had just been told. My entire existence had been a preplanned tale for an elder god. You can probably guess how I answered his question.
“You may hate me, and I feel the emptiness inside you now, but truly Jackson, it has been a pleasure to meet you. I cannot wait to see if humans believe you, I will watch you carefully from now until the end of time. You are free.”
I awoke later, in the foyer. I cried in my hands, people began to comfort me and ask me why I was crying. I did not answer. I only made for the exit and left. The sun was shining, and it was peaceful. The world as I know did not feel like it agreed with my feelings, it likely did not. I could not know if this was a real feeling now. I took one look back at the Hotel Non Dormiunt and thought for one last time about the people in the hotel, what will they perceive? What sort of stories are being told? I will not search for an answer. I have found the inception, and I am checking out.

GUESTBOOK

This post is a continuation to RoyIsBlack's post from 4 years ago. Here is a link to that post, which is probably one of the most well-documented origin stories for any rapper ever. You should seriously check this post out.

PART 5: "Time Will Tell..."

After touring in early 2014, Vince releases the music video for Blue Suede on August 15th. This video matches the song well. A gritty mixture of black, white, and blue feels post-apocalyptic with the beat ringing like a bomb siren. The nuclear bombs hit you repeatedly in the form of banging bass. Shortly after this, on September 9th, Vince releases Hands Up on iTunes. Hands Up has an unforgettable hook with some meaningful bars from Vince. Some of Vince's best flows on this track. These tracks were being released as singles for the incoming EP, Hell Can Wait, which was released on October 7th of 2014.
Hell Can Wait was released with great reception. Vince raps some of his best hooks throughout his career on the project, particularly on Hands Up and 65 Hunnid. The entire 7-track EP is dirty in the best way. Limos with Teyana Taylor is a nice cleansing shower from the grit, it's a good song yet one of the weakest on the project. That's not saying much. The three best songs from Hell Can Wait (imo): * Hands Up * Blue Suede * Screen Door
Coming off the release of Hell Can Wait, Vince performs with Common at the BET Hip Hop Awards. The next day, he releases the video for Fire. He truly takes us to church on this one, no hoe shit and no Hozier shit. After these events, Vince was pretty quiet. He performed a few times towards the final months of 2014, once with Joey Badass on his North American Tour. Vince was featured in the song Hell Yeah by Rag'n'Bone Man in December. The video for this song is really well done. Vince was relatively quiet for the rest of 2014.
Vince Staples releases the Screen Door video on February 6th to kick off an epic 2015. This was the most noise he made in awhile. One of the best songs on Hell Can Wait is visualized perfectly, the stunted shots and quick cuts really capture the paranoia of slangin' crack. The video for Fire appears to be playing on the TV at 32 seconds.
February 26th: tour with Earl Sweatshirt gets announced. Earl and Vince go way back as the original guide states, with them collaborating on many tracks. Speaking of, Vince has a nice collab with Earl on Wool which got released in the spring. Stuff starts to snap-crackle-pop for Vince. On April 1st, the video is released for his feature on CHAPO with A$ton Matthews.
About a month later, Vince releases the first single for his debut album Summertime '06 - Senorita which features Future, his part is a sample of his song Covered N Money. The next day, he announces that Summertime '06 will be released on June 30th. The album announcement was exciting and made sense at the time. Vince had a mixtape/year pace at this point, and with each being better than the last, the build-up to an album was clearly the next episode. Perhaps a season premiere or a season finale.

PART 6: "A Modern Classic?"

Get Paid is the next single released on June 14th, featuring Desi Mo The Dogg (at time of writing this she has 594 followers on Twitter). The next day, Vince and Tyler, The Creator appear on Real Late W/ Pete Rosenberg and drop some great freestyle bars. Vince continues to build hype before release by making the 2015 XXL freshman cover and murdering the freestyle, then the madman spits an absolutely disgustingly hard verse on the cypher.
The debut album got an early stream release thru NPR music. Norf Norf gets released.
Vince is buzzing more than ever, and at this point it is clear that Vince will become a staple in the modern rap game.
June 30th finally arrives and Staples fans have been eating ever since. The album receives very good press and reviews. It makes the Year-end best album lists of Pitchfork, Stereogum, The Guardian, The A.V. Club, and more. Metacritic shows Summertime '06 at an 87/100.
The three best songs from Summertime '06 (imo.. it's hard to pick only three from this album): * Lift Me Up * Norf Norf * CNB
Every song is great. If you haven't listened to this album you have to. While it is two discs, it is cohesive, yet each disc gives off a different vibe. To me, it feels like on the first disc, Vince and I were meandering through Long Beach committing various crimes. On the second disc, we have to run from the opposition and face reality.
I would put Summertime '06 above TPAB, and some consider TPAB to be a modern classic, hence the header of this section.

PART 7: “Pre-Madonna”

A bit after releasing Summertime '06, Vince spits one of his best radio freestyles. I would like to note here that I've never seen Vince recycle a freestyle verse. Also, Norf Norf kind of blows up for Vince. He drops the vid in mid June and off of the already sizzling fanbase and mystique of Clams Casino who produced the track, it rockets into the mainstream waves.
Later in November 2015, Vince joins the line-up for Tyler's 4th annual CAMP FLOG GNAW. This seems to be confirmation that the semblance of beef they once had is now George Foreman-grilled into nonexistence.
The video for Lift Me Up is released at the end of January 2016. It's an interesting video for what I believe to be the best song on the album. Lift Me Up has some of the greatest bars ever that you will rap to while they simultaneously degrade you:

All these white folks chanting when I asked 'em where my niggas at?
Goin' crazy, got me goin' crazy, I can't get wit' that
Wonder if they know, I know they won't go where we kick it at

Vince gets confirmed for SXSW 2016.
In March, Vince leaves a hilarious Yelp review.
Around this time, long-time Vince collaborator Joey Fatts releases Farrakhan. It is a banger.
Fast-forward to July 25th, the internet is getting hyped about a new song with Vince, Andre 3000, and James Blake. Vince announces on August 15th that his new EP Primma Donna would be out next week. This would be new music and a short film. Primma Donna, like pretty much every Vince project, did well in the realm of critics. This EP has an awesome sequel to Loca, called Loco which features the same art-pop/new-wave singer Kilo Kish. Kilo is a longtime Vince collaborator and features on some of his best songs.
Primma Donna is another gold medal for the Michael Phelps of rap. Vince is at his best stride yet and he only appears to be backstroking. The three best tracks off of Primma Donna (imo): * Loco * Big Time * Pimp Hand
(quick note: Timeless is awesome)

Part 8: “Megalodonna”

Vince Staples performs Smile with The Roots on Jimmy Fallon. Around October of 2016, the Norf Norf lady rant goes viral. Here is the vid. Vince was pretty quiet until deep into November when he announced The Life Aquatic Tour with Kilo Kish. This tour was awesome, Kilo Kish was like watching a play on a stage, Vince's sound and visuals were great and the crowd bumped. BagBak was Vince's first release of 2017. Vince also gets featured on Ascension by the Gorillaz.
This point in Vince's career is the highest, just out of virtue that Vince's career has been a steady rocket upwards. He releases a couple singles (Big Fish and Rain Come Down) for his upcoming album Big Fish Theory. This album is as great as any of his other projects but with the added experimental twist. The production is more experimental than ever and many publications call it "avant-garde" - the NME review, which is a 5/5, calls it "dystopian g-funk" which is pretty cool.
After the release of Summertime '06 and then a great EP with Primma Donna, Vince did it again with a fresh and experimental album. He certified himself as a big fish, a Megalodon in the industry. This album made so many year-end lists (at least 20 of them).
The three best tracks off of Big Fish Theory (imo): * Crabs In A Bucket * SAMO * Rain Come Down
After this album release, Vince did another tour. This time with Tyler The Creator. This tour was also awesome and Vince can put on a truly great performance. A lot of rappers that I’ve seen don't say a lot of their lyrics but it seemed like Vince had the energy and did it.
added per makamaka8 request: Vince got into a twitter beef with Ronnie Radke in October of 2017. This article details it well as the tweets are now mostly deleted: https://www.altpress.com/news/ronnie_radke_vince_staples_beef/ At one point Vince calls him Ronald cry laughing emoji
Vince launched a [GoFundMe] and asked for $2,000,000 for his early retirement, using the words "Get off my dick or fund my lifestyle-the choice is yours"
Turns out this was a smart marketing troll for his new single, Get the Fuck Off My Dick
A huge milestone for Vince Staples was being featured on the Black Panther soundtrack. He is on the songs Opps and BagBak was used for trailers for the film. This movie and soundtrack became extremely popular. Vince fans now eagerly await new releases. He just tweeted and insinuated he had new music, but other than that he has been quiet.
Edit: for formatting and adding stuff people have mentioned

10/10
The Money Store-Death Grips
​
9/10
Put Your Back N 2 It-Perfume Genius
The Idler Wheel-Fiona Apple
Natural History-Dope Body
good kid, m.A.A.d. city-Kendrick Lamar
TNGHT-TNGHT
Ondatropica-Ondatropica
BBNG2-BADBADNOTGOOD
​
8/10
Attack on Memory-Cloud Nothings
Sweet Heart Sweet Light-Spiritualized
Silent Hour / Golden Mile-Daniel Rossen
Nehru Jackets-Heems
fIN-John Talabot
Kindred-Burial
Bloom-Beach House
4eva N a Day-Big K.R.I.T.
Narrow-Soap&Skin
awE naturalE-THEESatisfaction
There's No Leaving Now-The Tallest Man On Earth
Zammuto-Zammuto
De Vermis Mysteriis-High on Fire
R.A.P. Music-Killer Mike
Salughterhouse-Ty Segall Band
Hair-Ty Segall & White Fence
Torche-Harmonicraft
Galaxy Garden-Lone
Take the Kids Off Broadway-Foxygen
Beams-Matthew Dear
An Awesome Wave-alt-J
Control System-Ab-Soul
Nocturne-Wild Nothing
kin-iamamiwhoami
Holograms-Holograms
Lonerism-Tame Impala
Silencing Machine-Nachtmystium
The Seer-Swans
No Love Deep Web-Death Grips
Years Past Matter-Krallice
All We Love We Leave Behind-Converge
Breakthrough-The Gaslamp Killer
The Odds-The Evens
'Allelujah! Don't Bend! Ascend!-Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Rare Chandeliers-Action Bronson & The Alchemist
Truant / Rough Sleeper-Burial
Sentenced to Life-Black Breath
Portico Quartet-Portico Quartet
Sinews-White Suns
History Will Absolve Me-Billy Woods
I.V.-Loma Prieta
Dripping-Pile
Hasta La Muerte-Xibalba
On Acid-Recondite
Alone Together-Karriem Riggins
Made Possible-The Bad Plus
Results-Murder Construct
PEEP: The aPROcalypse-Pro Era
Drought-Deathspell Omega
Possession-Christian Mistress
​
7/10
Tramp-Sharon Van Etten
Paralytic Stalks-of Montreal
Pink-Four Tet
Open Your Heart-The Men
Something-Chairlift
The Lion's Roar-First Aid Kit
Locked Down-Dr. John
Noctourniquet-The Mars Volta
The Horror-Pop .1280
Clear Moon-Mount Eerie
OFF!-OFF!
Lo Fi Hi Fives-R. Stevie Moore
Sorrow and Extinction-Pallbearer
In Our Heads-Hot Chip
Americana-Neil Young and Crazy House
Wreck-Unsane
World, You Need a Change of Mind-Kindness
Valtari-Sigur Ros
Skelethon-Aesop Rock
WIXIW-Liars
Yellow & Green-Baroness
Live from the Underground-Big K.R.I.T.
Four-Bloc Party
I Know What Love Isn't-Jens Lekman
Channel Orange-Frank Ocean
Instrumental 2-Clams Casino
The Haunted Man-Bat For Lashes
I Bet on Sky-Dinasour Jr.
Love This Giant-David Byrne & St. Vincent
Bend Beyond-Woods
1999-Joey Bada$$
Transcendental Youth-The Mountain Goats
Until the Quiet Comes-Flying Lotus
Half Way Home-Angel Olsen
Bish Bosch-Scott Walker
Order of Noise-Vessel
Luxury Problems-Andy Stott
The Heist-Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Honor Found in Decay-Neurosis
Unkown Rooms: A Collection of Acoustic Songs-Chelsea Wolfe
Duality-Captain Murphy
Movement-Holly Herndon
Jessica Pratt-Jessica Pratt
Light Up Gold-Parquet Courts
Is Your Love Big Enough?-Lianne La Havas
Floral Green-Title Fight
Vacation-Shlohmo
Blood for the Master-Goatwhore
4NML HSPTL-Open Mike Eagle
Metahuman-Eprom
Har Nevo-The Black Heart Rebellion
Eschatological Scatology-Gnaw Their Tongues
No Youth-Wreck & Reference
​
6/10
Angels of Darkness, Demons of Light II-Earth
Let's Go Eat the Factory-Guided By Voices
MU.ZZ.LE-Gonjasufi
Blunderbuss-Jack White
Kings and Them-Evian Christ
Spooky Distance at a Distance-Lotus Plaza
With Siinai: Heartbreaking Bravery-Moonface
Ufabulum-Squarepusher
The Bravest Man in the Universe-Bobby Womack
Cancer For Cure-El-P
Unsound-Mission of Burma
Oceania-The Smashing Pumpkins
Swing Lo Magellan-Dirty Projectors
Kings and Them-Evian Christ
Gossamer-Passion Pit
Shrines-Purity King
Instict-Niki & The Dove
Centipede Hz-Animal Collective
Mature Themes-Ariel Pink's Haunted Grafitti
Held-Holy Other
Clockwork Angels-Rush
Total Loss-How to Dress Well
Shields-Grizzly Bear
Babel-Mumford & Sons
Local Business-Titus Andronicus
Key to the Kuffs-JJ Doom
Jiaolong-Daphni
LUX-Brian Eno
Kaleidoscope Dream-Miguel
METZ-METZ
2-Mac DeMarco
Book Burner-Pig Destroyer
Koi No Yakan-Deftones
Wu-Block-Wu-Block
See the World Given to a One Love Entity-Guardian Alien
Love Is Love // Return To Dust-Code Orange
Widowmaker-Dragged Into Sunlight
Koloss-Meshuggah
Decompositions: Volume Number One-Circle Takes The Square
In the Middle Of Infinity-3:33
No-Old Man Gloom
Ten Stories-mewithoutYou
​
5/10
Visions-Grimes
Onwards To The Wall-A Place To Bury Strangers
Old Ideas-Leonard Cohen
Reign of Terror-Sleigh Bells
Love at the Bottom of the Sea-The Magnetic Fields
Port of Morrow-The Shins
Given to the Wild-The Maccabees
Mr. Impossible-Black Dice
Habist & Contradictions-Schoolboy Q
Celebration Rock-Japandroids
Quakers-Quakers
R.I.P.-Actress
Confess-Twin Shadow
America-Dan Deacon
Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors-Big Boi
Mysterious Phonk: The Chronicles of SpaceGhostPurpp-Spaceghostpurrp
Food & Liquor 2: The Great American Rap Album Pt. 1-Lupe Fiasco
Advaitic Songs-OM
No Idols-No Genesis & The Alchemist
World Music-Goat
Ocean Roar-Mount Eerie
Piramida-Efterklang
We Don't Even Live Here-P.O.S.
Cobra Juicy-Black Moth Super Rainbow
Instrumental Tourist-Tim Hecker & Daniel Lopatin
Wild Water Kingdom-Heems
Wiki93-Ratking
Jesus Piece-The Game
Les Voyages de l'Âme-Alcest
Phantom Antchrist-Kreator
Autotheism-The Faceless
Agnus Dei-The Secret
​
4/10
Young & Old-Tennis
The OF Tape Vol.2-Odd Future
Acousmatic Sorcery-Willis Earl Beal
Kill for Love-Chromatics
Strange Clouds-B.o.B.
Life is Good-Nas
Coexist-The xx
Devotion-Jessie Ware
Based On A T.R.U. Story-2 Chainz
(III)-Crystal Castles
Zeros-The Soft Moon
Finally Rich-Chief Keef
The Parallax II: Future Sequence-Between the Buried and Me
​
3/10
Born to Die-Lana Del Rey
Resolution-Lamb of God
Synthetica-Metric
WZRD-WZRD
The Only Place-Best Coast
The Stoned Immaculate-Curren$y
Born Villain-Marilyn Manson
God Forgives, I Don't-Rick Ross
The 2nd Law-Muse
Lords Never Worry-A$AP Mob
Numbers-MellowHype
Welcome to: Our House-Slaughterhouse
Into The Future-Bad Brains
​
2/10
PBX Funicular Intaglio Zone-John Frusciante
​
1/10
n/a
​
0/10
n/a
​
​
Other lists

This is my third list for this sub. I hope you enjoy it.
ART THIEVES, FORGERS, SMUGGLERS.
The Art of the Steal by Christopher Mason. A true story about the auction houses Sotheby’s and Christie’s and how they conspired to cheat their clients out of millions of dollars.
The Billionaire’s Vinegar: The Mystery of the World’s Most Expensive Bottle of Wine by Benjamin Wallace. The most expensive bottle of wine and the conflicting reports about its history. This is a book that would enchant wine conessi… conues… lovers.
The Gardner Heist: The True Story of the World’s Largest Unsolved Art Theft by Ulrich Boser. Author Ulrich Boser looks at the unsolved art theft case of Boston’s Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.
The Golden Spruce: A True Story of Myth, Madness, and Greed by John Vaillant. Grant Hadwin, a logger-turned-activist, fells a unique 165 feet Sitka spruce in an act of protest. John Vaillant takes the readers into the heart of North America’s last great forest to find out why he did that.
Hitler’s Art Thief: Hildebrand Gurlitt, the Nazis, and the Looting of Europe’s Treasures by Susan Ronald. Hildebrand Gurlitt was an art thief, or as he put it himself, an ‘official dealer’ for Hitler and Goebbels. But he stole from the Jews and Nazis alike. This book was published after his hoard was recently (2013) discovered which created an international furor.
The Irish Game: A True Story of Crime and Art by Matthew Hart. This book is about the art theft at Ireland’s Russborough House in 1986. The suspect, a gangster named Martin Cahill, played cat and mouse with police for years.
The Island of Lost Maps: A True Story of Cartographic Crime by Miles Harvey. When you think about stealing some valuable art, do maps come to your mind? Then this book is for you. Gilbert Joseph Bland Jr. stole numerous centuries-old maps from research libraries in US and Canada.
I Was Vermeer: The Rise and Fall of the Twentieth Century’s Greatest Forger by Frank Wynne. Han van Meegeren became so much adapt at forging Vermeer paintings that it is said that even professional experts would find it difficult to point out his works from the originals. He earned more than $50 million by selling his forgeries – and he even swindled the Nazis.
The Lizard King: The True Crimes and Passions of the World’s Greatest Reptile Smugglers by Bryan Christy. Reptile smuggling is a big “business”. The author, a federal agent, suspected a reptile business owner of being a major smuggler and he started investigating. It was not as simple as it sounds because at one point he was chased by a mother alligator and even bitten by a python.
The Lost Chalice: The Epic Hunt for a Priceless Masterpiece by Vernon Silver. A 2500 year old cup made by the Greek master Euphronios which depicted the fall of Troy gets stolen and sold (along with 3 other such vessels). Then due to the questionable practice of some art dealers, no one can track down its last known owner.
The Lost Painting by Jonathan Harr. With nothing better to do, the author embarks on a journey to discover a Caravaggio painting which was lost to time two hundred years ago.
The Man Who Loved Books Too Much: The True Story of a Thief, a Detective, and a World of Literary Obsession by Allison Hoover Bartlett. John Charles Gilkey stole rare books not because he wanted to make profit as most thieves do, but because he loved books. I guess if you want to call yourself a book-reader but don’t actually want to say… read a book, you could just steal them and show them off to your friends. But who are we to question the wisdom of “booklovers”, right?
The Orchid Thief: A True Story of Beauty and Obsession by Susan Orlean. If you thought that stealing maps is a weird “job” to have, how about stealing a rare breed of flower? We all know about the Tulipomania that gripped Netherlands in the 1630s. But this is a modern tale, and the book is perhaps one of the most popular ones on this list.
Priceless: How I Went Undercover to Rescue the World’s Stolen Treasures by Robert K. Wittman, John Shiffman. This book is about Robert K. Wittman, FBI’s founder of the Art Crime Team and his undercover missions around the world to rescue various pieces of stolen art.
Provenance: How a Con Man and a Forger Rewrote the History of Modern Art by Laney Salisbury. You could have a Jackson Pollock lying around in your basement, but if you can’t prove that the piece is real, you might as well use it as a table cloth (I might have exaggerated there a bit, but you get the point). John Myatt, a struggling artist, and John Drewe, a conman who knew the importance of Provenance in the art world, duped many people and museums by creating a fake paper trial that seemed to prove that the art was a real thing and not a forgery. So much so that the experts believe that there might still be some fake paintings created by Myatt displayed in prominent places as the real thing.
The Rescue Artist: A True Story of Art, Thieves, and the Hunt for a Missing Masterpiece by Edward Dolnick. Dolnick writes about the theft of Edvard Munch’s The Scream from the National Gallery in Oslo in 1994 and the subsequent investigation that took place to track it down.
Selling Hitler by Robert Harris In mid-eighties, Hitler’s diaries were “discovered” and many experts fell for the con. The backpeddling many did when it was revealed that the diaries were not real is really amusing to read about.
Shell Games: Rogues, Smugglers, and the Hunt for Nature’s Bounty by Craig Welch. This book is about the poaching of a larger-than-life clam – a Geoduck, to be precise, and the subsequent chase from the wildlife police to nab the poacher.
Stealing History: Tomb Raiders, Smugglers and the Looting of the Ancient World by Roger Atwood. This book provides a sweeping history of thefts of various priceless antiques.
Stealing the Mystic Lamb: The True Story of the World’s Most Coveted Masterpiece by Noah Charney. The twelve panel oil-painting of the Mystic Lamb is the most frequently stolen artwork in the world. It was stolen 13 times. One wonders whether they could have guarded it a little better after the first couple of times, you know. Anyway, this book describes the events of each theft.
Stolen World: A Tale of Reptiles, Smugglers, and Skulduggery by Jennie Erin Smith. Two reptile smugglers compete against each other to conquer the illegal trade for themselves. The funny thing is, the Zoos stood against them in the courts, but they had no problem buying rare fauna from the two smugglers, sometimes simultaneously.
Tangled Vines: Greed, Murder, Obsession, and an Arsonist in the Vineyards of California by Frances Dinkelspiel. A massive fire destroyed wines worth $250 million in a California warehouse, making it the largest destruction of wine in history. It was done by a conman named Mark Anderson, who rented storage space at the same warehouse. This book tells why he did that and also goes into the surprisingly bloody history of wine trade in California. (reads well with cranberry juice).
Vanished Smile: The Mysterious Theft of Mona Lisa by R. A. Scotti. On August 21, 1911, a man walked out of the Louvre with the Mona Lisa tucked inside his coat (should have painted it bigger, eh Vinci?). I am not going to spoil this book for anyone. Read it if you want to know whether Mona Lisa was recovered or was lost to time forever.
CARTELS, GANGS, UNDERWORLD.
American Desperado: My Life --- From Mafia Soldier to Cocaine Cowboy to Secret Government Asset by Jon Roberts, Evan Wright. Jon Roberts, who starred in documentary Cocaine Cowboys tells his story to the journalist Evan Wright in this book. Roberts smuggled drugs to Miami for the Medellin Cartel (which will feature many times in this category).
At the Devil’s Table: The Untold Story of the Insider Who Brought Down the Cali Cartel by William C. Rempel. This is Narcos Season 3, basically. Remember the family guy who gets involved with the Cali Cartel and mops around for the whole season even though he had an unbelievably hot wife who was clearly out of his league? That character was based on Rempel. And if I must say so, the book is more compelling than that season of Narcos. Nothing can beat Agent Pena, though.
Black Mass: The True Story of an Unholy Alliance Between the FBI and the Irish Mob by Dick Lehr, Gerard O’Neill. The story of James ‘Whitey’ Bulger – the head of the Irish Mob in Boston - who became an informant for the FBI and chaos ensued. Depp plays Whitey Bulger in the movie adaptation with a soggy tortilla glued to his face as make-up.
Blow: How a Small -Town Bay Made $100 Million with the Medellin Cocaine Cartel and Lost it All by Bruce Porter. Another book where Johnny Depp plays the main character in the movie adaptation. This book is about George Jung, who after meeting Carlos Lehder, started selling cocaine in the United States through Medellin Cartel.
Cocaine Diaries: A Venezuelan Prison Nightmare by Paul Keany, Jeff Farrell. Paul Keany was caught smuggling half-a-million euro worth of cocaine into Venezuela. He was sentenced to 8 years in prison. Now, prisons everywhere aren’t exactly fun places to be, but Los Teques where Keany was incarcerated was nothing short of hell on earth.
Confessions of a Yakuza by Junichi Saga. Junichi Saga was a doctor by profession. A patient, who was a former Yakuza, recounted his life story before him. Saga recorded the conversations, and broke doctor-patient confidentiality by writing this book.
Doctor Dealer: The Rise and Fall of an All-American Boy and His Multimillion-Dollar Cocaine Empire by Mark Bowden. A dentist named Larry Lavin builds the foundation for a cocaine empire in the United States.
Donnie Brasco by Joseph D. Pistone, Richard Woodley. Joseph D. Pistone, an FBI agent, goes undercover for six years to infiltrate the Mafia. Do watch the movie too, it is Depp’s last movie without weird make-up.
El Narco: Inside Mexico’s Criminal Insurgency by Ioan Grillo. Journalist Ioan Grillo has written, arguably, the definitive book on Mexican drug cartels. Why he is still alive is anybody’s guess.
Gang Leader for a Day: A Rogue Sociologist Takes to the Streets by Sudhir Venkatesh. Venkatesh, who was a sociology grad student at the time, infiltrated one of Chicago’s most notorious gangs. This is one of a kind type of book.
Gomorrah by Roberto Saviano. This book is about the Italian Crime Network called Camorra in Naples, Italy. Due to his intensive investigative journalism which exposed lot of insider information about the crime syndicate, author Saviano still has to live under constant police protection.
The Good Mothers: The True Story of the Women Who Took on the World’s Most Powerful Mafia by Alex Perry. This is a recent book, where the author Alex Perry looks inside the ruthless Calabrian Mafia of Italy and three women who want to save their own and their children’s lives. This is a fascinating and courageous look into an aspect of the Mafia which is often overlooked by most.
Hunting El Chapo: The Inside Story of the American Lawman Who Captured the World’s Most Wanted Drug-Lord by Andrew Hogan, Douglas Century. Remember when Joaquin Guzman was caught for the first time and then he escaped and then he was caught again for good? Yes? Then read this one. But this book only focuses on the operation that nabbed him for the first time. I must warn you though – the author, Andrew Hogan – is really really in love with himself and it seeps into his writing.
The Infiltrator: My Secret Life Inside the Dirty Banks Behind Pablo Escobar’s Medellin Cartel by Robert Mazur. Mazur went undercover and actually became a money launderer for Pablo Escobar. This book is more about how bankers actively helped to launder the drug money and how Mazur helped to bring them down.
Killing Pablo: The Hunt for the World’s Greatest Outlaw by Mark Bowden. This is the best book about tracking and eventually killing Pablo Escobar. And as Walter Jr. pointed out to Walter White, it focuses on the good guys, not the bad ones. Good companion book to Pablo Escobar: My Father written by Escobar’s son.
Marching Powder: A True Story of Friendship, Cocaine, and South America’s Strangest Jail by Rusty Young. The author stays inside San Pedro jail for months with a drug smuggler to chronicle his tale. This is one of the most popular books written on cocaine smuggling.
McMafia: A Journey Through the Global Criminal Underworld by Misha Glenny. This is a thorough investigation into organized crime worldwide which accounts for 1/5th of total GDP of the world. This book would please readers who are into extensively researched true-crime history books, not so much a casual reader (inb4 - I just read 5 pages of McMafia and wow… just wow).
Mr. Blue: Memoirs of a Renegade by Edward Bunker. Edward Bunker had had an eventful life. Incarceration for two and a half decades, being on FBI’s most wanted list, and being a crime novelist. This is his autobiography.
Mr. Nice by Howard Marks. Howard Marks started dealing dope in small quantities while he was studying at Oxford – as you do – and then eventually graduated to dealing it in tons (what the hell was he studying there? Oh, philosophy). This is his fascinating story.
Narcoland: The Mexican Drug Lords and Their Godfathers by Anabel Hernandez. Yet another book that resulted in the author getting death threats. This proves the old cliché true that the pen is mightier than the sword; until the sword comes down and cuts your neck. That’s why the author has to live under constant protection.
Narconomics: How to Run a Drug Cartel by Tom Wainwright. Any aspiring drug lords should read this instruction manual. Just kidding. Wainwright goes deep into the functioning of various drug cartels and at the end also comes up with a plan to defeat them.
News of a Kidnapping by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Little known author tries his hand at true-crime. Pablo Escobar kidnapped 10 journalists when he was on the run from the authorities. This book revolves around that event.
The Night it Rained Guns: Unravelling the Purulia Arms Drop Conspiracy by Chandan Nandy. On a December night in 1995, someone airdropped three weapons-laden wooden pallets over Purulia, West Bengal. Who did it and why? This book tells the story about one of India’s greatest ever security breaches.
No Angel: My Undercover Journey to the Inner Circle of the Hells Angels by Jay Dobyns, Nils Johnson-Shelton. Dobyns was the first federal agent to infiltrate the inner circle of the notorious biker gang. This is his story.
Pablo Escobar: My Father by Juan Pablo Escobar. Juan Pablo is an architect and lives and practices his trade in Argentina. Even though Pablo was his father, Juan does not try to justify his actions even a little bit. This is one of the best books written on Pablo Escobar.
The Snakehead: An Epic Tale of the Chinatown Underworld and the American Dream by Patrick Radden Keefe. Sister Ping, leader of the Chinese underworld in the US, earned $40 million a year smuggling people from China. Told from the viewpoints of gangsters, investigators, and poor immigrants alike, this book provides a unique window into the world of human smuggling.
Scores: How I Opened the Hottest Strip Club in New York City, Was Extorted out of Millions by the Gambino Family, and Became One of the Most Successful Mafia Informants in FBI History by Michael D. Blutrich. I am disappointed that they went with FBI instead of Federal Bureau of Investigation in the title. Should have made it longer. Scores: How I Opened the Hottest Strip Club in New York City on the 34th Street Just Opposite the Starbucks, Was Extorted out of 4.54 Millions and 55 Cents Plus Taxes by the Gambino Family, and Became One of the Most Successful Mafia Informants in Federal Bureau of Investigation History by Michael Dostoyevsky Blutrich
Tokyo Vice: An American Reporter on the Police Beat in Japan by Jake Adelstein. The author, working as a reporter in Japan, writes about the seedy underbelly of crime in the country.
The Untouchables by Eliot Ness, Oscar Fraley. Where’s Nitty? He’s in the car. Great movie. How Eliot Ness and his team started the downward spiral in criminal career of Al Capone. A somewhat embellished account was also written in the book, but nonetheless, it is a gripping tale.
Veerappan: Chasing the Brigand by K. Vijay Kumar. Koose Muniswamy Veerappan was the last big outlaw of India. A sandalwood smuggler who lived in the forest to evade the police, Veerappan killed hundreds of policemen and civilians. K. Vijay Kumar, the officer who led the task force that ultimately brought down the brigand, is the author of this book.
Wiseguy: Life in a Mafia Family by Nicholas Pileggi. I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? Goodfellas is perhaps the best Mafia movie ever made, so read it in his own words why Pileggi might fold under questioning.
Zero Zero Zero by Roberto Saviano, Virginia Jewiss. This Saviano guy must have a death wish. But as a handsome list-writer once eloquently said, “If bitten already by a King Cobra, what difference it makes if you French kiss a Black Mamba?” Since the publication of his book on the Italian crime syndicate, Saviano has to live under constant police protection. So to make sure they don’t slack off, he wrote a book on Cocaine Cartel, this time acquiring lots of admirers in Latin America.
CONMEN, IMPOSTORS.
The Art of Making Money: The Story of a Master Counterfeiter by Jason Kersten. The Art of making money is to make other people work for you; not the other way round. But more scrupulous method of making money would be to counterfeit it. Art Williams did exactly that.
Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake by Frank W. Abagnale. Maybe the most popular book on this list, Abagnale Jr.’s book is not to be missed even if you have watched the movie starring the actor who had sex with a bear (no, not Tormund).
Charlatan: America’s Most Dangerous Huckster, the Man Who Pursued Him, and the Age of Flimflam by Pope Brock. One “Dr.” John R. Brinkley, set-up a medical practice to surgically insert goat glands in human testicles to restore their fading sex drive. I am not joking, this happened.
Conman: A Master Swindler’s Own Story by J. R. Weil, W. T. Brannon. Known as “Yellow Kid” Weil was a master conman, who duped public of more than $8 million 100 years ago. He’s called by many as the greatest conman of all time (second to the companies that charge service fees on the internet, of course).
Eyeing the Flash: The Making of a Carnival Con Artist by Peter Fenton. Fenton was a math student until he turned into a carnival con artist. How many bananas he stole from the monkeys? How many bales of potatoes from the elephants? Read this book to find out.
Inconvenient People: Lunacy, Liberty and the Mad-Doctors in Victorian England by Sarah Wise. If you have any annoying friends who romanticize the Victorian era and say that they would have liked to live there, tell them to read this book and get back to you after that.
The Man in the Rockefeller Suit: The Astonishing Rise and Spectacular Fall of a Serial Impostor by Mark Seal. This is the true story of one of the greatest impostors of all time. The man could have impersonated a chihuahua if he wanted to.
The Man Who Sold the Eiffel Tower by James Francis Johnson. Viktor Lustig sold the Eiffel Tower not once, but twice. I still have the relevant papers that my great grandfather left us. I’m going to shift it to Nauru or Detroit.
The Mark Inside: A Perfect Swindle, a Cunning Revenge, and a Small History of the Big Con by Amy Reading. This is a revenge story of a man who sets out to con the conmen who conned him twice. Unfortunately, the book could have been written better, but it is still worth having a look at.
Playing Dead: A Journey Through the World of Death Fraud by Elizabeth Greenwood. I once tried playing dead in a meeting when asked about the progress on my project. But there are people who fake their death for lesser gains, such as insurance fraud and debt fraud. Author Elizabeth Greenwood journeys into the dark world of death fraud to find out more.
Ponzi’s Scheme: The True Story of a Financial Legend by Mitchell Zuckoff. Charles Ponzi was so successful in duping people that we have immortalized his name by terming such swindles after him. At one point, he was raking in $2 millions a week. How many weeks would it take you to earn 2 million dollars at your current income? (sorry, that got heavy fast. It hurt me too).
A Rum Affair: A True Story of Botanical Fraud by Karl Sabbagh. One botanist claimed that some species of plants on the islands south of Scotland survived the last Ice Age. Another botanist doubted him. This might not sound like a big fraud if you are not into plants, but believe me when I say that the 2 botanists who just read this threw their phones away in disgust and disbelief.
Starvation Heights: A True Story of Murder and Malice in the Woods of the Pacific Northwest by Gregg Olsen. A quack doctor named Linda Hazard developed a technique called “fasting treatment”. The story focuses on two sisters who fell for the quack’s assurances that they would be cured of all the diseases - real or imagined. This book is quite infuriating to read. Hazard was a despicable human being.
Swindled: From Poison Sweets to Counterfeit Coffee – The Dark History of the Food Cheats by Bee Wilson. Wilson looks from ancient Rome to current times for food frauds. And she finds them aplenty (companion read - while having a nice snack).
A Treasury of Deception: Liars, Misleaders, Hoodwinkers, and the Extraordinary True Stories of History’s Greatest Hoaxes, Fakes and Frauds by Michael Farquhar. This is a good bathroom book about fakers through history.
The Woman Who Wasn’t There: The True Story of an Incredible Deception by Robin Gaby Fisher, Angelo J. Guglielmo Jr. Have you heard about Tania Head? If you haven’t, I urge you to skip this book. Tania Head duped survivors of 9/11 and the whole world alike into believing that she was one of the survivors from the South Tower of World Trade Center. I feel enraged just by typing this. So just read this book if you want to know more about her. There are a couple of documentaries out there too.
HACKERS.
The Cuckoo’s Egg: Tracking a Spy Through the Maze of Computer Espionage by Clifford Stoll. Long before internet became a place for cat memes, Cliff Stoll was working at a research lab as a systems manager. One day he found 75 cents of accounting error. This made him alert that an unauthorized person was logging into the system. Thus began his lone effort of tracking down the spy.
Exploding the Phone: The Untold Story of the Teenagers and Outlaws Who Hacked Ma Bell by Phil Lapsley. Before there was internet, or even personal computers, mobsters and teenagers hacked the telephone system.
Ghost in the Wires: My Adventures as the World’s Most Wanted Hacker by Kevin D. Mitnick, William L. Simon. The book tells the story of one of the best hackers of all times, Kevin Mitnick, and his cat and mouse game with the FBI.
The Spider Network: The Wild Story of a Math Genius, a Gang of Backstabbing Bankers, and One of the Greatest Scams in Financial History by David Enrich. A group of bankers manipulated daily interest rates just a fraction here and there on loans worth trillions of dollars and made some serious cash for themselves. This book also rocks one of the ugliest book covers of 2017.
MUTINEERS, PIRATES, OUTLAWS.
Batavia’s Graveyard: The True Story of the Mad Heretic Who Led History’s Bloodiest Mutiny by Mike Dash. I was torn whether to include this book in the list as the history of Batavia’s mutiny is littered with corpses. But as the focus is on the mutiny, I am going to keep it here. This event could give the Medusa’s raft a run for its money.
The Floating Brothel: The Extraordinary True Story of an Eighteenth-Century Ship and its Cargo of Female Convicts by Sian Rees. Poor girls in England, most of who were petty thieves, were given a chance to sail to Botany Bay in Australia to create a new life for themselves and the male population of New South Wales. But the real story happened at the sea on board the ship Lady Julian.
The Last Outlaws: The Lives and Legends of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid by Thom Hatch. Butch: What happened to the old bank? It was beautiful. Guard: People kept robbing it. Butch: Small price to pay for beauty. The book might not be full of memorable dialogues as the movie, but if you want to know more about the legendary outlaws, give this book a chance.
Lost Paradise: From Mutiny on the Bounty to a Modern-Day Legacy of Sexual Mayhem, the Dark Secrets of Pitcairn Island Revealed by Kathy Marks. Mutiny of the Bounty is perhaps the most infamous of mutinies that occurred at sea. Even after the event and hundreds of years later, the descendants of Fletcher Christian and his sailors continue to live a crime-filled life like their forefathers on Pitcairn Island.
The Pirate Hunter: The True Story of Captain Kidd by Richard Zacks. This book will change your perception of Captain Kidd, that’s for sure.
To Hell on a Fast Horse: Billy the Kid, Pat Garrett, and the Epic Chase to Justice in the Old West by Mark Lee Gardner. This non-fiction book concentrates on Sheriff Pat Garrett’s chase in pursuit of the bandit Billy the Kid. If you like reading westerns, this one and The Last Outlaws are not to be missed.
Under the Black Flag: The Romance and the Reality of Life Among the Pirates by David Cordingly. Cordingly takes a look at life among the pirates. Some of your romanticism would be squashed, but there were some good things about being a pirate too. Life among the pirates was neither black nor white; it was beige.
POLITICAL CRIMES
Arms and the Dudes: How Three Stoners from Miami Beach Became the Most Unlikely Gunrunners in History by Guy Lawson. Three kids won a 300 million dollar contract – legitimately – I must add, to supply ammunition to the Afghanistan military. They had no money, but still they almost pulled it off. I don’t know, read this book, and if you’re a US citizen, visit the websites mentioned in the book, see if they are still doing business the same way, and if you want, you can become a supplier to the army too. Don’t forget to send me my cut (the movie War Dogs was trash).
The Brother: The Untold Story of Atomic Spy David Greenglass and How He Sent His Sister, Ethel Rosenberg, to the Electric Chair by Sam Roberts. Even if you’re not a United Statian of American (USians?), chances are you might have read at least something about the execution of the Rosenberg couple as spies. This is probably the best book about the subject.
Curveball: Spies, Lies, and the Man Behind Them: How America Went to War in Iraq by Bob Drogin. How many weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq? If your answer is “what’s that?” then congratulations, you’re not unlike one of your former presidents. Who told the USians that there were WMDs with Saddam? Curveball.
The Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins. Perkins was an economic hitman, who at the instruction of US intelligence agencies and giant corporations cajoled and blackmailed other country leaders to serve US foreign policy and award lucrative contracts to American businesses (now that job has been transferred to the White House).
A Kim Jong – Il Production: The Extraordinary True Story of a Kidnapped Filmmaker, His Star Actress, and a Young Dictator’s Rise to Power by Paul Fischer. Say you want to make a big movie for your country. But there is no one in your country who can handle such an ambitious project. What do you do? Hire some talent from other country? But you’re Kim Jong – Il. Oh. Then you just kidnap them, and force them to make the glorious movie of yours. Read this book. It’s pretty absurd (the movie they eventually made for Kim was utter shit. The Room would look like Gone with the Wind compared to that abomination).
The Nuclear Jihadist: The True Story of the Man Who Sold the World’s Most Dangerous Secrets… And How We Could Have Stopped Him by Douglas Frantz, Catherine Collins. One day a man Abdul Qadeer Khan caught a plane to Pakistan from Europe. With him he had blueprints of the mechanism that could prepare weapons grade Uranium that he had stolen from the lab he worked at in the last 3 years. He would make the first atomic bomb for Pakistan with that information. Then he sold the tech to stable countries like Iran, North Korea and Libya. How can someone get away with stealing such powerful information? Read this book to find out.
Operation Paperclip: The Secret Intelligence Program that Brought Nazi Scientists to America by Annie Jacobsen. This is a pretty controversial topic that has only gained wider acknowledgement in recent decades. Read this book to know in detail how bogus the claims of justice being served to the perpetrators of the Holocaust were. Basically, if you were a scientist, you were very likely to be acquitted from any War Crimes allegations.
The Real Odessa: How Peron Brought the Nazi War Criminals to Argentina by Uki Goni. How did most of the Nazis who managed to escape from Germany ended up in South America? Read about the collusion of various entities and institutions that made it possible in this book.
The Spy Who Couldn’t Spell: A Dyslexic Traitor, an Unbreakable Code, and the FBI’s Hunt for America’s Stolen Secrets by Yudhijit Bhattacharjee. This is the true story of a mole in FBI, how he attempted to sell classified information and how FBI tried to track him down.
ROBBERIES, HEISTS.
Ballad of the Whiskey Robber: A True Story of Bank Heists, Ice Hockey, Transylvanian Pelt Smuggling, Moonlighting Detectives, and Broken Hearts by Julian Rubinstein. If there is one thief in this list that I admire, it is without a doubt, Attila Ambrus. Ambrus was known as a gentleman thief, who would ask – no, request - the teller to fill his bag with money. If you read this book, it would be hard for you to dislike Attila even though he was a thief.
Confessions of a Master Jewel Thief by Bill Mason, Lee Gruenfeld. Bill Mason looted many famous personalities in his long career as a jewel thief. In this book he tells how he did it.
The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk W. Johnson. Do you know there are people whose hobby is fly tying? The feathery thing that you attach to the hook to catch fish? But these are not your average fly tiers. They use feathers from exotic birds to create different ties whose total cost could run in thousands of dollars. Moreover, many of the most coveted birds are either protected or extinct. So one night a man named Edwin Rist broke into Tring museum and took hundreds of bird skins, some that belonged to Darwin, to fuel his hobby and even getting rich by selling precious feathers to other tiers. Don’t miss this book.
Finders Keepers: The Story of a Man Who Found $1 Million by Mark Bowden. Who hasn’t dreamt of finding a big bag of money? It couldn’t have happened to a more clueless person. Joey Coyle, to be exact.
Flawless: Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History by Scott Andrew Selby. The theft from Antwerp that still raises many questions.
Go Down Together: The True, Untold Story of Bonnie and Clyde by Jeff Guinn. The truth is not that romantic.
The Great Pearl Heist: London’s Greatest Thief and Scotland Yard’s Hunt for the World’s Most Valuable Necklace by Molly Caldwell Crosby. Pearls, more valuable than the Hope Diamond, are stolen by thieves in Edwardian London.
The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton. My favorite Crichton book. Stealing gold from a running train! Watch the movie too that stars the great Sean Connery.
Heist: The Oddball Crew Behind the $17 Million Loomis Fargo Theft by Jeff Diamant. How hard is it to steal 17 million dollars? As far as these thieves were concerned, not much. Getting away with it was another thing altogether. The movie was pretty average, I think.
Into the Blast: The True Story of DB Cooper by Skipp Porteous, Robert Blevins. Is Tommy Wiseau DB Cooper? If only that was true. Read the book but don’t expect any clear-cut answers (I think most people would agree that the clumsy bastard died after he jumped from the plane).
A Pickpocket’s Tale: The Underworld of Nineteenth-Century New York by Timothy J. Gilfoyle. True story of George Appo, a pickpocket living in nineteenth-century New York.
Sex on the Moon: The Amazing Story Behind the Most Audacious Heist in History by Ben Mezrich. A guy steals moon rocks from NASA and then had sex on them with his girlfriend (how the hell is that comfortable?)
The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit by Michael Finkel. The last hermit was not a hermit in true sense. He didn’t rely on land to feed himself. He stole from the nearby community. Before someone says I have spoiled the book for them, it is revealed in the first chapter that he is a thief.
WHITE COLLAR CRIMES.
Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyrou. The Steve Jobs impersonator, Elizabeth Holmes, CEO of Theranos, and her old boyfriend, Sunny, are some of the most vile people that I have come across while reading about corporate crime. This is one of the best books that I have read this year.
Den of Thieves by James B. Stewart. This is probably the most famous book written about those Wall Street scoundrels.
Empire of Deception: The Incredible Story of a Master Swindler Who Seduced a City and Captivated the Nation by Dean Jobb. The story of Leo Koretz, who created one of the longest running Ponzi schemes in the 1920s Chicago.
The Informant by Kurt Eichenwald. Mark Whitacre becomes an FBI informant against his own corporation. But as time goes by, the FBI starts to realize that Mark is not as truthful as he seems to be, and he has his own agenda (they made a movie with Matt Damon).
Octopus: Sam Israel, the Secret Market, and Wall Street’s Wildest Con by Guy Lawson. Sam Israel’s hedge fund was making heavy losses. So naturally, he fabricated fake returns to fool the investors. Then he heard about a secret market from where he could convert his millions into billions. That’s how he lost the last 150 million dollars of his invertors’ money.
Red Notice: A True Story of High Finance, Murder, and One Man’s Fight for Justice by Bill Browder. Only thing you are going to learn from this book is don’t do business in Russia.
The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron by Bethany McLean, Peter Elkind. Bethany McLean asked one simple question in her article when everyone else was going gaga over Enron. “What does Enron actually do?” Nobody knew. Even Enron couldn’t give a specific answer. They were not just committing accounting fraud; they were looting ordinary people by creating fake shortage of electricity and driving the prices high. The documentary is worth watching too.
Stung: The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony by Gary Stephen Ross. The guy Molony debited huge amounts of money from the bank he worked at to feed his gambling addiction. Oh, and he took the money in other people’s name who held huge accounts there. This is one of the best true-crime books that I have ever read.
Three Cups of Deceit: How Greg Mortenson, Humanitarian Hero, Lost His Way by Jon Krakauer. You know the man who builds schools in remote regions of Afghanistan and Pakistan? Great guy, right? Krakauer doesn’t think so. And he’ll tell you why in this short book.
The Wizard of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust by Diana B. Henriques. 65 billion dollars. That’s the amount that Madoff swindled from people through decades of fraud. I think I can buy a small island country with this much money. The idiot is in jail though. I don’t know, maybe after a couple of billion, skip to a country with no extradition treaty and live the rest of your life without the fear of being getting caught? But then, these types of people don’t know when to stop.
OTHER.
American Roulette: How I Turned the Odds Upside Down --- My Wild Twenty-Five-Year Ride Ripping Off World’s Casinos by Richard Marcus. The guy ripped-off casinos all over the world by stealing gaming chips while maintaining an illusion of a highroller to lend his eventual take required legitimacy.
Breaking the Rock: The Great Escape from Alcatraz by Jolene Babyak. Written by the daughter of a guard at Alcatraz, this book tells the story of the infamous escape from the prison island. Don’t forget to watch the classic movie too.
Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six MIT Students Who Took Vegas for Millions by Ben Mezrich. The movie 21 was based on this book. But if you want to know the real story, without the whitewashing, you have no choice but to read this book.
Disposable People: New Slavery in the Global Economy by Kevin Bales. Kevin Bales estimates that there are 27 million people worldwide who live as slaves, right now. And yes, slavery still exists in United States of America in case you were wondering. This is a depressing book.
Fish: A Memoir of a Boy in a Man’s Prison by T. J. Parsell. Rape in prison is absolutely overlooked almost everywhere. Read this book if you can endure reading about helplessness page after page.
Hotel K: The Shocking Inside Story of Bali’s Most Notorious Jail by Kathryn Bonella. Prison systems in developing world differ from the developed one in one regard that the guards and officials there are more corrupt and hence are likely to look the other way when something bad is going down amongst the inmates. Kerobokan Jail in Bali is one of the worst among those.
The Hot House: Life Inside Leavenworth Prison by Pete Earley. The author interviewed inmates from Leavenworth Prison for two years. The book is the result of that labor.
The Laundrymen: Inside the World’s Third Largest Business by Jeffrey Robinson. I have a perfect idea to launder money. Laser Tag! Robinson looks at the third largest business in the world. The book was published a while ago, but still hasn’t lost most of its relevancy.
Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer. Jon releases the Krakauer on one of the most relevant subjects of today. Rapes in colleges. These institutes would do anything to sweep things under the rug to maintain the illusion of clean image in the public eye.
Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing by Ted Conover. The author worked as a prison guard for a year at one of the most notorious prisons of the United States. This book is about his experience.